3 months ago…
I closed my eyes. The smell of burning candles was suffocating me.
I hated it.
It was a constant reminder how lousy my birthdays really were.
When I was a kid I used to love all the presents and the cakes that were there to hide the fact that my parents weren’t. Through the years the number of ponies grew bigger, just as the number of candles on my cake did, and their excuses grew weaker. Dad had this so-important-that-lives-are depending-on-it meetings. Mom had sudden movie auditions on the other side of country that she couldn’t miss.
When they got separated I felt relived. I didn’t have to fake I was happy when they weren’t there or when they finally came home anymore.
Imagine my surprise when I woke up this morning and found an expired mall coupon and a card in the mailbox that said:
Happy fifteenth,
Love, mom
I quickly threw it in the trash before anyone could see it. It was embarrassing, at least.
- Make a wish…
I was preparing for this part for a whole year. I only had one wish, the wish I prayed to God for in the shower, the wish I made last year, that didn’t come true. It was the wish I improvised in my dreams every night, in different ways.
Once, I was at this party. The house was full of people I didn’t know and the music was too loud. I made my way through the crowd and everybody was looking at me with unexplainable expressions on their faces. Fear? Everything was a blurry and soon I remember falling to the ground and pacing out.
This other time I was on an empty street and a group of people (?) was on this man, it seemed. Like a fight. I could a hear strange noise coming from there but I couldn’t move. I stood there for what seemed an eternity and I all I focused on was my heartbeat.
That was one of the harder dreams I was having. Some were really simple: We win a lottery, we move to a 5 star hotel, we eat cupcakes till we explode, we sunbathe near a glittery pool. We, my brother and aunt - the only family I have. We are happy. It seemed so simple in those dreams that sometimes I wake up thinking that it can actually be true.
So I made a wish: for something to happen. Anything that would wake me up from this monotony everyday.
I opened my eyes and blew the candles. The smell was worse than ever. Penny applauded
– You grew up so fast…
I could swear I saw a tear in her eye. She was always too emotional and it just made everything more awkward. I got that from her.
– Whatever, let’s just eat the cake, shall we?
Alex always made it seem like he was in a hurry and just wanted his peace, but I could see he was happy that his big sister grew even bigger.
– I’ll do it…
- No, no, you just go upstairs and relax and I’ll cut the cake…Oh, I’m so proud of you…
My aunt came up to me and hugged me with her slobbery tissue.
– You are such a good kid…
Little did she know that that was the last thing I wanted to hear. I knew that I was a kid every parent wanted to have. Good grades, don’t drink, don’t smoke, don’t go to parties...
Perfect
Too bad my own parents never saw that.
I started to go upstairs when my brother raced past me
– Last one a rotten egg!
I smiled and started to run, even though, secretly, I wanted to be rotten egg so bad …
The rest of the evening was passing slowly. I ate two pieces of carrot cake, Penny’s specialty. Not really helping in my plan to lose weight. I was in my bed even though it was only 8:30, staring at my star through the window.
It’s really shiny tonight, tomorrow’s going to be a nice day, I thought. School, what can be better than that, ha?
***
I slowly started to fall asleep, worried that tomorrow will stay the same. The last notes of “Helena”, like a lullaby, were coming from the radio on my bedside table, becoming quieter by the second…
YOU ARE READING
Vampire Weekend
RomanceAnna Fitzpatrick is just a normal girl. Her biggest wish: not to be. Since her parents divorced and her aunt took her brother and her, everything changed. All she wants is her old life back, but does she really? In her struggle with the boring life...