Who are you?

chapter 11.

It was finally the day Louis was joining One Direction. He finished packing about two hours after his talk with Lottie, which by that point it was well into the evening. He waited for his mum to get home so he could at least know that they were okay, but that thought was shattered when all she did was shoot him a look of pity as she walked through the front door. He tried to talk to her about her day, but he could tell that she felt like she was walking on glass around him. It hurt, but he couldn't tell her the truth. Lottie said he could risk being sent away if he did, which he had known from the beginning.

Dinner that night was semi-awkward with Lottie now knowing, but Jay didn't try to wring the truth out of him this time. Instead, they were all quiet, Lottie sparing looks at Louis every few minutes. He understood that it was hard to wrap her head around, but her gaze still made him slightly uncomfortable. He silently prayed that no one would think anything of it, especially after the argument the previous night, but there was a small twinge of paranoia telling him they knew.

That brings him to the present moment, double-checking his bag to make sure he had everything. He was talking to Harry as he normally would, while keeping an eye on the door for Lottie. Louis was expecting her to barge in at any moment, seeing as he escaped the dining table as quick as he could the previous night. He didn't want her to ask any more questions, but he knew it was coming at some point if he was being honest with himself. 

"So when you get off the plane, Paul will be at the airport to pick you up. He should be holding a sign to let you know that it's him, but just in case, I'm gonna send you a picture," Harry said, and half a second later a picture of Paul had come through on his phone. He didn't need the picture at all, he knew this, but he also knew that Harry didn't know that. If all went according to plan, Harry would never know. 

"I got it," Louis said after a moment of silence, assuming Harry wanted to know if it came across. 

"Good. We have a show tonight, but I was thinking afterwards, maybe we could go drinking? Or if that's not really your thing, we could just tour Germany together? We don't have a show tomorrow, so maybe" Harry asked, and Louis could hear the hope in his voice. Harry always loved to tour the places back home, and knowing he was the same here brought a smile to Louis' face. 

"Maybe we could go drinking later in the week?" Louis suggested, putting the phone on speaker. "I don't want to make a bad impression on the first day."

Harry laughed on the other line. "I don't think they'll care, they really like Right Now. All they really care about is getting songs done as fast as possible, and if you can help them write faster then they won't care if you get drunk on night one."

"Shouldn't I be songwriting on the first night then?" Louis asked with a laugh, jumping back on his bed after confirming he had packed everything he needed.

"I guess, maybe I could help you tonight if we're not going drinking then?" Harry asked, and Louis could hear the hope in his voice. He loved the young love thing they had going on, it reminded him a lot of their X-factor days. He missed the days where Harry would follow him around like a lost puppy, and Louis could make him laugh with the stupidest of laughs. It wasn't like they had changed, but there was something about the mindless flirting that he missed. 

"Maybe you could," Louis said with a small smile. He heard a knock on the door before hearing it crack open. He looked over to see who it was, and made direct eye contact with not Lottie, but his mother. 

"Harry, I got to go, but I'll call you when I get picked up, okay?" Louis said, maintaining eye contact with his mum. 

"Aw, okay. That's only forty-five minutes away, right?" Harry asked with a hopeful voice. Louis broke the eye contact briefly to smile back at the ceiling. 

"Yes, I'll call you in forty-five minutes, but I have to talk to my mum, so I have to go now," he said, looking back at her once the smile went away. Jay was awkwardly leaning on the door frame of his bedroom, patiently waiting for Louis to hang up.

"Okay, tell her I said hi?"Harry asked, and Louis sat up, giggling. 

"You don't even know her," Louis said as he turned his body to face Jay. 

"What if I meet her one day? I have to get started on good first impressions early on, otherwise she might hate me" Harry complained. 

"Bye, Harry, call you in a bit," Louis drawled out before hanging up. There was a silent tension in the air for a minute after that, before Louis broke the silence. "That was Harry, he said to tell you hi."

"Did he?" Jay asked, standing straight up as to seem more interested in the conversation. "What a kind man, he doesn't even know me. Or I him."

Louis looked down, he knew his mum knew that he was talking to One Direction, but he never told her how close he was to Harry. 

"You'll meet him one day," he said, keeping his gaze focused on the floor. He heard her walk over to where he was, before feeling a weight dip beside him. 

"He's not the reason you're not happy, is he?" She asked Louis, putting an arm around his shoulders. Louis shook his head. 

"No, god no, if anything, he's making me happier," Louis said, and when she didn't say anything in reply, he continued. "I want to tell you what's going on, I do, but I'm just not ready yet."

He felt the hand on his shoulder squeeze, causing him to look back up at his mum. 

"I'm not going to make you tell me anything, Loubear. I know it seems like I'm trying to force it out of you, and I realized last night that I need to let you figure this out on your own, and I'll be there if you need me," She said, a soft undertone in her voice. "You're an adult now, and I need to treat you like one. I'm sorry for overreacting when you told me you were going off with One Direction, and I'm sorry for trying to make you tell me everything that's going on in your life. If it's really that personal, then you don't have to tell me anything if you don't want to."

Louis sucked in a breath. An apology was the last thing he would've expected, although he was happy that she wasn't mad at him anymore. 

"Thank you, mum," he said, leaning into her embrace. 

"I love you, sweetie, don't forget that. I love you no matter what," she said softly. She gave him a small kiss on the head, before standing up and looking at her watch. "You have about twenty minutes before the driver will be here, do you need any help with your bags?" She asked, looking at the suitcase and the carry-on lying on Louis' bed. Louis looked back at the luggage and shook his head. 

"I should be alright, thank you though," he said, standing up. Jay nodded her head, before turning around. 

"Call me if you need anything, even when you're halfway across the continent," She said, pulling him in for one last hug before leaving the room. Louis sighed, watching as she closed the door. He wasn't expecting to have that conversation if he was being honest, but he was glad that they did. He hated fighting with his mum more than anything, especially over long periods of time. 

As he grabbed his suitcase and carry-on from his bed, he dialled Harry back real quick. 

"That wasn't twenty minutes, did you miss me?" Harry asked with a laugh, and Louis giggled. 

"I can always hang up and call back when I'm in the car," He threatened. He laughed more when Harry started to quickly retract his statement, rambling"No, no I was joking, I promise, I love- I like talking to you, don't hang up please."

Louis caught his slip up, but he knew Harry wasn't going to say the three words he missed the most. Either way, he was more than ready to spend a week with his not-boyfriend.

At some point during the week, Louis hoped that would change.