Who are you?

chapter 13.

Louis was called in to work on a song the very same night he showed up, and while he knew that there would be a lot of work, he didn't expect it to come so soon. 

The group of people he was writing with were the ones Harry told him about, a guest writer named Toby Smith, and Liam. Liam may not have known this, but he and Louis worked best when they were together, so he was excited to see how this song would go. He just had to get Liam out of his shell first. 

"Do we have any suggestions? Any at all?" Julien asked, running a hand through his hair. They had been working for close to two hours, and they hadn't come up with a single verse yet. Louis had one song from the the real world that he was about to cave and present, but he decided against it last moment. It was a song that no one has heard yet, and he wanted his Harry to be the first to hear it. He also suggested they try a rock song that could involve partying and (to keep it straight) getting to third base, but the writers felt like that was too out of their limit, leaving it up to Louis himself. 

"With all do respect, it's nearing midnight, and I'm sure we're all tired," Toby said, rubbing his eyes to prove his point.

"We're making midnight memories," Liam whispered, and Louis snapped his head over to him. 

"Write that down, Midnight Memories. I think I could make something with that," He whispered, not wanting Julien or Toby to hear quite yet. Liam nodded at him and jotted it down in his notebook. 

Something must of happened while they were whispering that convinced Julien to take the night off, because as soon as they tuned back into the rest of the writers, they were all getting up to go to the producer rooms. 

"Guess it's just us then," Louis said, leaning back in his chair. Liam nodded, muttering a quick "yeah" as he looked down at his notebook. Louis stayed quiet for a minute, trying to come up with something to say, but he couldn't think of anything. 

"Do you have any ideas for a song?" He asked after a long period of silence, and Liam shrugged. 

"There's something I wanted to write for a fan, her name's Diana, I got a letter from her expressing her feelings about how she felt no one was there for her and nothing could save her, I wanted to tell her through song that there's always hope," he said, flipping through the pages of his notebook.. Louis smiled softly at that. 

"I like that," he said softly, looking at the notebook as well. "I like the feeling of knowing someone could feel less alone because of us- because of something small I did," Louis said, catching himself before Liam could catch onto what he was saying. 

"Yeah," He just said in response, making Louis slightly frown. 

"I... I noticed you're much quieter than the others," Louis started softly, "You don't have to answer but... do you ever feel alone? Like nothing anyone could do could help you feel better?" After a moment of silence, he added, "Again, you don't have to answer, but I'm here if there's anything you need to talk about."

Liam shook his head, and after a minute, he sighed. "I guess... I've never really gotten on with the boys. Sure, we were all fine during X-Factor, but that was becuase we had to be, our main focus was winning, after all. And we almost did, we placed second. Then after X-Factor, I guess the boys didn't like that I was 'too serious', and eventually started doing things without me," he said quietly, not looking up. "Drinking, partying, even game nights, they never invited me, even if I asked to be. I guess they thought I was too much of a buzzkill. 

"Eventually, maybe a year or so later, I gave up trying, because if it didn't change in a year, then why would things change now right?" He took a deep breath. "I guess it hurts, to me they're all like colleagues, while I feel they're more like co-workers."

Louis felt his heart drop at every word that came out of his mouth. Sure, they hated eachother during X-factor, but he still never left him alone, and after they won Louis made it his personal mission to make Liam more laid back. It took sometime, but after weeks of relentless pranking, soon Liam started to laugh at them, and even helped him prank Niall and Zayn a couple times. 

"I'm sorry, I guess I can kind of understand what you mean," Louis said, not breaking eye contact with Liam. "I've had some trouble... finding myself lately, I guess," he admitted. While it wasn't necessarily true, it wasn't technically a lie either. 

"I'm sorry," Liam said, and it sounded genuine. Louis shook his head.

"It's alright, I really think Harry's helping me with that. But my point is, you're not alone," he said, looking down. "And if you would like, I'll be your friend. You don't seem boring to me."

He looked back up to Liam, and it looked like the band member was about to cry. 

"Thank you, Louis," he said, and Louis smiled. 

"C'mere," he said, motioning in for a hug, which Liam quickly went in for. They stayed in a tight hug for what felt like hours, before Liam finally let go. 

"If you want, you can come drinking with Harry and I this week," Louis offered, and Liam shook his head. 

"I don't know if they'd want me to," he said, that same sad look falling upon his face. 

"Well, I know that if I go, Harry will too, so just come anyway," Louis said, putting a hand on his shoulder. "It's time they grow up and start inviting you out with them, otherwise the band wont last much longer."

Liam nodded, mumbling a short "you're right," before getting up to go back to his room. "Um, Louis?" he said, turning back to Louis as he was opening the door.

"Yeah?" Louis asked, leaning on the table. 

"Thank you," he said with a sincere smile, before leaving the room. Louis smiled after him, and looked down at one of the papers that he brought in front of him. Bringing the pen down, he started to write. 

"You tell me that you're sad, and lost your way, you tell me that your tears are here to stay, but I know that you're only hiding, and I just wanna see you..."

---

"Louis, I know you feel like you don't get enough solo's , and there's a reason. We just don't feel your voice is strong enough yet."

"Louis don't listen to them, you're important. The boys need you. The World needs you."

"Louis, you need to change your style, it's too flamboyant. We're trying to appeal to teenage girls, not homosexuals."

"Louis, you've helped me realize who I am, that it's okay to be true to myself. Because of you, I came out to my parents.Thank you.

"Louis you don't matter, when will you realize?"

"Louis, you mean so much to so many people, I hope you never think you don't matter."

Louis' eyes flew open, unaware of his surroundings. He took three deep breaths, looked around, and saw Harry next to him, light snores coming out of him. 

What the fuck was that dream? Louis thought to himself. It didn't even feel like a dream, necessarily, more like the two voices in his head arguing. One of them sounded eerily like Simon Cowell, whereas the other one sounded a lot like Harry and random fans he met. 

He couldn't think of what brought that argument up in his head. Was is something trying to reach him from his world? If it was, why did it take so long to reach him? Why was his brain doing this to him now?

Maybe he finally getting closer to going home. He hoped that was the case, otherwise he was starting to lose any other hope of getting back.