Being Nonbinary (Trans and Nonbinary Problems)

Non-binary enough

If you're not a skinny white kid with short hair then it's really hard to be considered "non-binary enough". You have to be androgynous and conventionally attractive and usually afab. {Just to clear something up, I am not saying people who meet these criteria have it easy, or that they are immediately accepted as nonbinary. It's just that those of us who fit that - me included - need to understand that there is some privilege that comes with it. If it's hard for us, just know that it's even harder for people who don't fit the stereotype for androgeny. I'm not trying to diminish anyone's struggles but I have noticed that people of colour, fat people, and people assigned male at birth often struggle to gain acceptance, even from other nonbinary people.}

This is actually a general problem, there is a lot of pressure on trans people to perfectly conform to the stereotypes of their genders. A trans woman isn't considered "trans enough" if she dresses in masculine clothing or doesn't like makeup. If cis woman does this she's liberated and still a woman. Some people support the idea of feminine men but criticize trans men for being feminine for whatever reason. And people who identify outside the binary have to be perfectly androgynous.

Let me tell you, gender expression and your appearance does not change who you are. If you have long hair, like pink and wear dresses, and generally look like a female, that does not change who you are. If you have a beard and dress in a masculine style, you can still be non-binary. So long as you identify outside of the gender binary, you are under the umbrella term of non-binary. Everyone is valid and someday it will be acceptable to be non-binary in public, and to express yourself however you like.

I personally was incapable of performing, dressing in or liking anything stereotypically feminine because my mom uses the fact that I used to like dresses as proof that there is no chance I could be anything but a girl. But as I begin to accept myself and grow comfortable in my identity, it becomes easier to like what I like and not prescribe a gender to it. 

Anyway, love yourselves, you're perfect. Don't feel like you aren't valid because of how you look.