lonerism ; jschlatt (lunch club au)

eight

after about 3 hours of conversation, we had both shared stories and experiences that we would never think to tell anyone else. we confessed, explained and dove deep into elements of each other's lives without a dull moment, becoming captivated in our own worlds as we sat stretched out on the stairs, facing each other in comfortable positions as the drinks in our hands slowly drained.

the topics of discussion flowed and changed as the night went on, from friends, family, passions, even memories that we held close to us. i shared endless accounts of the stupid shit me and my friends had done in the past and she would do the same, even sharing embarrassing moments and inner thoughts.

sometimes we laughed, sometimes we cried. sometimes we didn't need to say anything at all.

i felt great, well ... better. better is a good word to use. the night air cooled my skin to the point where i felt like a new person, refreshed as the stress and strain that once wrapped around me released it's grip. i felt my body relax as she let me talk and i let her listen, distracting us both from the reality around us.

i found myself fixated on her multiple times, the way she would get lost in a childhood memory or when she would simply look at me with intent and genuine interest. i couldn't remember the last time someone looked at me like that...

i had learnt so much about her and i couldn't help but sit in awe. she was so beautiful, so passionate and kind that i knew i could listen to her speak for eternity.

i never wanted us to stop.

i had just told her about the time i had to run from the police one night after joko had flashed his ass to a group of them, and we sat in amusement for a while.

"i'm pretty sure we ran halfway across the city that night, travis couldn't stop laughing," i explained between chuckles and exaggerated movements. she had been laughing throughout, wiping her eyes to prevent the tears that had started to form and i made fun of it.

"you're actually crying?! nice to know your sense of humour is as broken as theirs." i scoffed.

"shut up!" she exclaimed, pushing me slightly, "you're so mean, that shit is funny you have to admit." i laughed lightly as she composed herself.

it felt nice to hear her laugh at my words.

after a moment of small giggles and deep breaths, she continued, "your friends seem like a lot of fun to be around."

i smiled, "yeah they are- well.... they used to be" i had become so lost in past memories that i forgot how things really were now. how that's all they would be. memories.

"everythings changed" i confessed, "they used to care, used to think about their actions or their words." i thought back to all the nights i watched them abuse their systems with unknown substances, how they never look at or talk to me the way they used too.

the thoughts consumed me for a short moment.

she smiled softly, "i mean, people change. we can't do anything about it and it hurts." i saw sympathy in her eyes as she continued, "but we need to realise that it might hurt us more to stay than it would to leave them behind."

i simply nodded as her words fell over me, a sour realization forming in my throat.

we sat in silence after that, staring out at the dark sky. a sense of stillness swept over as all noise from inside the house seemed distant, irrelevant as we were sitting in our own small existence.

everything was calm.