lonerism ; jschlatt (lunch club au)

two

even though i was still stuck between bodies and could barely see two steps in front of me, his voice had carried and i pushed towards his direction, hoping to make it to the kitchen in one piece. the air around me already felt heavy as the sweat and heat from the people around me was accumulating and started to press against my skin, making me even more desperate to escape.

with some force, i managed to push through, exiting in front of the kitchen where the benches were already covered with empty red cups and bottles. my feet kicked mixtures of glass and plastic below me as discarded drinks were left on the floor to be spilt and pushed aside.

white lights shone brightly from above, a sudden change from the darkness of the night and the dancefloor, leaving my eyes stinging slightly as i crossed to where ted stood, with who i soon realised as his girlfriend, madi. she was leaning into him as she drank from the cup in her hand, draining it quickly as i greeted her with a slight nod. when i got a lazy glance in reply, i turned to ted.

"hey man, it's good to see you," i said, leaning close to him so i could be heard over the music blasting behind us.

whether he could actually hear me or not, i couldn't tell as his face stayed expressionless, leaning into me this time as he replied, "i didn't think you would come tonight, i haven't seen you around here for weeks."

in his closeness, my stomach turned and i tried not to wince as he breath already smelt strongly of alcohol, the stench quickly filling my nose and delaying the true impact of his words. his tone was harsh and judgemental, his gaze leaving me to feel more pathetic by the second as i tried not to overthink them.

"i've just uhhh... been really busy recently," i started, suddenly feeling very vulnerable and small as ted seemed to tower over me, "just had a lot of shit to do."

ted just rolled his eyes, a smirk growing on his face and a slight laugh escaping his lips, "that's always the case, isn't it schlatt. you can just say you don't want to be here you know." he paused to take a sip of his cup before continuing, "not like it would make any difference."

in that moment wanted nothing more than to run away, leave this party and never have it cross my thoughts again. but i guessed that that would only prove ted right.

instead, i stood there, watching as he emptied his cup and gave me a quick glance before turning to madi and started to kiss her passionately, completely disregarding my existence. i simply turned to the mass of people that had seemed to grow only larger behind me, entering once again in an attempt to hide and disappear in the ever-changing crowd.

i tried to assure myself that these were only the words of a drunken man that meant nothing. although he wasn't just a man, he was a friend.

i wasn't a stranger to insults and banter at these pastries, many nights often ending with some sort of verbal abuse for getting in their way or just trying to take care of them. everyone always ended up apologising later on, although the things they say often stay with me for weeks, lurking in my thoughts like a parasite i can't get rid of.

perhaps drunken words really were just sober thoughts.

** umm i realised that madi and ted aren't together anymore :(( we're just going to skip over that fact for now i wrote this chapter before they broke up lmao