A Love Story Like No Other

Part 11: Happiness

Listen to Happiness before/whilst/after reading this

Joe's POV

One week later

The day began like every other day has this week. We make breakfast, shower, brush our teeth, then the dreaded ovulation test. It's not dreaded because it's painful or anything at all like that, it's more the feeling we get when the test is negative. Every day, every test, our whole world comes crashing down when there is only one line. And we realise that even when it is positive, that only means Taylor is ovulating, it doesn't mean she will definitely get pregnant or anything like that.

As if she can see into my thoughts, Taylor wanders over, box in hand, "test time," she says with the same look on her face, she has every time. One of hope and yet one of utter sadness too. She heads into the bathroom and in a couple of minutes she is back out again.

Then we wait.

The longest three minutes of my every day.

The clock quietly ticks in the background. Tick tock. Tick tock. Tick tock. Over and over and over until the timer I set goes off. I hold Taylor's hand as she turns the test over and we look at the same time.

"Are you, are you, are you seeing what I'm seeing?" Taylor says, stuttering across every word.

"I think there's, two, two lines there. OH MY GOD TAYLOR, OH MY DAYS THERES TWO LINES!!" I say, almost shouting with excitement as I pick her up and spin her around in the air.

I immediately pick up my phone and call the clinic and tell them the most amazing news that I've for the past month, that Taylor is finally ready for the next stage, insemination. The clinic tell us to come in immediately as they, very luckily, have a slot available.

A few hours later

We have been to the clinic and Taylor we're now left hoping that everything was successful, and that, by some kind of miracle, that in nine months, Taylor will have a baby.

I want to start a family Taylor, more than anyone will ever realise. I don't want to make her feel bad because I know this isn't her fault. I know that our baby will come. I know we will get our one in a million, but I just wish we could have them now. I want to hold that sweet, sweet baby in my arms, long into the nights and throughout all the days. I want to walk my daughter down the aisle and I want to teach my son how to respect women. I want for Taylor to be truly, truly happy, forever, and I know, she knows, we know, that can't happen without creating our little family. But until then, I will try to love her to the moon and back, and I will try to take away all that pain I know she's feeling, because I am feeling it too. 

Several weeks later

Today is the day that we found out if the insemination was successful. I'm hoping so much that it was but I'm not getting my hopes up too much because I don't want to be let down massively, if it hasn't worked. I'm optimistic, but I'm also realistic in seeing that this was the first time we have tried and since our chances are, quite literally one in a million, I don't see it being this time. But I'm hopeful, and so is Taylor, that our chance will come, to be the best parents our children could every ask for. 

I am taken out of my thoughts as I hear the nurse say, "we are ready for you now, Mr. and Mrs. Alwyn."

I hold Taylor's hand in mine and I try to give her the most reassuring look that I can, even though, I too am feeling just as nervous as she is. 

As we walk into the room, Taylor climbs up on the bed, pulling her hoodie up, ready to find out something that could change our lives forever. The woman starts the process of trying to see of if the insemination has worked, using all of the very ultra-modern, ultrasound technology. 

The silence is so obvious within the room. I don't know if this woman is aware of our situation, but I am sure she knows who Taylor is, and she probably doesn't really know what to say. She definitely does not want to be seen over-stepping a boundary, but it would be nice if someone could say something to break the silence. You really could cut the tension with a knife. 

The longer she takes, the more obvious stressed out Taylor becomes. She keeps looking at me with those longing blue eyes, and my heart just keeps breaking, more and more each time. I can't help but feel bad for her. I know she carries all of the blame within her, even though it really is not her fault. There is nothing either of us can do to change the situation, we are here now and I wouldn't have it any other way. Well obviously I would rather Taylor and I could have a baby the easy way, but that cannot be, and we just have to accept that. 

 I am about to say something when the nurse says, "I am just going to get my superior," and with that, Taylor and I are left alone in the room. 

For the first minute, we say nothing. I mean, what can I say? How are you? I'm sure everything will be ok? Yeah, I am not sure that would go down too well. I wish I could know that everything would turn out well, and we would be happy, but I don't know what is going to happen, and honestly, that's the part that kills me the most. 

Then the nurse comes back in, with another woman, who I am presuming is her superior. They both look at the screen together, and almost as if they were programmed to do it together, they turn to look at us, with the saddest look in their eyes.

"I'm sorry," one of them says, "it doesn't seem as though this round of IVF has worked."

I look at Taylor and I squeeze her hands, as if to say, 'don't worry, my love, that doesn't mean that it will never work, it just means, not this time.'

When we get home, I don't know what to do. Taylor is laying on the sofa, just having called her mum, to tell her the news, and so I decide to go and lay with her.

"I'm sorry it didn't work, Taylor. I really am. I wish so much that it did and that we could be happy and I could be sure that you were truly happy," I say, in a somewhat weak attempt to make her feel even just a little bit better.

"Oh Joe," she says, "I am so, so sad that this round didn't work, but we can try again, can't we?" 

To that I nod.

"Oh and please don't blame my sadness on you. There is happiness because of you, truly, Joe, I can't thank you enough for being there for me."

With that, I plant a kiss on her lips, and after talking a bit more, we end up falling asleep on the sofa, like we did, the first few nights we moved in.

Hey everyone! Sorry it's been so long since I updated!! I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. Don't forget to vote and comment :)