A Love Story Like No Other

Part 9: Willow

Listen to Willow whilst/before/after reading this

Taylor's POV

Life has been so hard recently. I genuinely don't know what I'd do without Joe. He's been amazing throughout all of this. I've been struggling so much with the idea that it's going to be really hard for us to start a family. It's always been one of my biggest dreams to have a huge family but now that seems almost impossible. I think Joe is more upset than he lets on, because although he never cries like I do, I can see the pain his ocean blue eyes. They look more look stormy grey eyes now and it breaks my heart.

As of last night we decided that we are going try IVF as it seems we don't have a lot of choice. Joe seems happy enough to give it a go and I guess I don't have anything against giving it a go. There are lots of needles involved though and because of the 'condition' I have it's not even guaranteed that I will be pregnant at the end of it. But I'm willing to at least try, for Joe if nothing else.

Joe rang me clinic this morning and told them that we are ready to give it a go and they told us to come in this afternoon so now I am just getting ready to go. As we leave the house, Joe gives me a kiss on the forehead and says, 'you ready baby?' 'As ready as I'll ever be' I said almost sarcastically and he laughed slightly.

The journey to the clinic was silent. I don't think either of us really knew what to say. I mean, what do you even say in a situation like this? It's a completely new experience for the both of us and we're going to learn so much in the process but we're not there yet. I'm sure once we're more sure this is going to work we'll be more excited and we'll enjoy this more but for now we'll both just have to be a bundle of nerves.

As the car slowly grinds to a holt, Joe opens the door and gives me a hand out. The whole time we're waiting in the clinic it's just complete silence too. It's almost worse than being in the car because here we are surrounded by pictures of babies and pregnant mothers and it's all quite overwhelming really. The nurse calls us in and Joe takes my hand and we walk in together. In the little room she gives me all the needles I'm going to need to inject myself with for the next month until I start ovulating again. She explains something about these making my eggs 'better' or something. I wasn't really listening all that much because I don't really understand all that science stuff. But ultimately Joe injects this stuff into me once a day for a month until I'm ovulating. Then they will extract some eggs from me and some sperm from Joe and merge them. Then after a couple of weeks, they will place one or two of these eggs into me and if takes then I'm pregnant and if not then we have to place one or two more in. It all sounds stressful but not impossible, especially since I know that I will have Joe and my friends and my family by my side the whole time. I've also decided to tell my fans because it seems wrong not to. I want to share this journey with them like I've shared lots of other things in my life with them. I want to be real and show that it's not all perfect for me even if it might seem that it is. I want to also connect to people who might've had a similar experience to me or might even being going through it now and show them that they are not alone because I know how lonely and daunting this can be, especially for people who aren't lucky enough to have a Joe.

When we get home, Joe starts getting the first needle ready. I hate needles so so much but I'm going to be brave and do this for my child, our child.

"It's ready Taylor, if you are?" Joe says tentatively.

"I'm ready babe, the quicker we do it, the quicker it's over, right?" I say.

He nods and with that, injects my it in my stomach and I inhale sharply. It's honestly not as bad as I was expecting but it does hurt. Joe kisses me on my forehead and he says the sweetest thing to me.

"Taylor I haven't had the chance to say this yet but I want to thank you for doing this for me, for us. I know you're not all that keen on many stages of this process and that in essence your giving your body up to create a child for us but I'm endlessly proud of you. Thank you so so so so much for everything you've given me."

I smile at him and run my hand through his hair.

That's my man. That's why I married him. How could you not love that. He's so pure and grateful for every little thing I do for him. Don't get me wrong, I'm so grateful for him too but I show him that through my music because I find that easier. He's got everything and anything you would look for in your ideal man and I should probably tell him that more often. I don't think I could go through this journey without him, I really don't.  He's my number one fan, my man.

Hey everyone! First of all, I just want to thank you all because we've just passed 900 views! Secondly, I'm so sorry it took me so long to update, there's just been so much going on at the moment but I should have more time to update now. Thirdly, I hope you liked this chapter. I don't particularly know much about IVF but I've been doing a bit of research so I'm trying to keep it accurate but there might be few mistakes (and if you notice any please be sure to let me know). Please vote and comment if you liked this chapter :)