Lost, But Hopefully Found

Seven

School was cut short today because of the weather we've been having. They said that there would be snow, but it's just rain.

I love rain. It's such a beautiful form of weather, it reminds me of myself. On one occasion the rain can be soft trickle, but on another it can be a storm.

Right now i'm sitting on the back porch watching the rain fall onto the grass, watching how the grass absorbs the drops, I feel the mist from the rain on my face.

After the things that have happened to me I never really broke down and cried like a 'normal' person, after what happened I was damaged but I refused to let myself feel it. So ever so often I get this vague feeling of the need to completely break down. But instead I just get quiet and watch the things around me.

Like right now I feel this huge urge to cry, but I have a feeling that even if I did give into that sad broken state, I wouldn't cry I'd just be more of a shadow than I already am.

So I sit here and watch the rain, a reflection of what I'm capable of feeling, the darkness can be a trickle or a storm.

Mason hasn't been on my mind as much as it was Sunday. Right now I'm just here alone, sometimes I get to a point where keeping my emotions at bay gets mentally exhausting.

Most of these things should be shared with my therapist my mom insisted on me seeing, but I don't think that talking to a person that had to study to understand my psychological problems can truly understand what I'm feeling.

The cup of tea I made before coming out here is now cold in my hand, and so is my body, but the chill that I'm getting reminds me that at least I'm here.

~
"Hey mom." I say walking into the kitchen from outside.

"Hi honey, where are you going?" She asks noticing how I'm grabbing my keys.

"I'm just going on a drive, the rain's really pretty." I say lingering in the kitchen until she gives a sign of approval.

"Ok, just don't be gone to long. And make sure you stay safe." She smiles at me, with that I turn on my heel and walk out the front door.

I know exactly where I'm going, where I always go when it rains.

There's this cafe about 15 minutes away from my house, and I love it. It's in the direction out of town so that means I don't have to see anyone that could possibly recognize me.

I pull up to the brick building, the cafe has big windows in the front so it gives a better view of outside. The door and parking lot are on the side so you don't have stare at ugly cars. It's painted this cool brown that has a safe feel to it.

After I order my coffee I sit down at a table in the corner and stare out the window, thinking about everything and nothing all at the same time.

When my coffee is done, I wait for the waitress to come and top off my cup.

Right after she finishes filling my mug, someone I never expected to see showed up.

Mason

Why is he here? I've never seen him here. How does that motorcycle even work in the rain? Is he even on it? My mind fills with questions.

I don't really feel like talking to anyone, let alone have a conversation. So I try to stay unnoticed, but just to my luck he sees me, and instead of getting a to go cup like a assumed he was doing here, he comes over and sits down right in front of me.

"Elle?" He seems confused, I'm the one that should be confused right now. Not him.

"Yes?" I question back not really down to answer dumb questions right now.

"What are you doing here?" Asking in another way isn't going to change the fact that I don't want to answer the question, but of course he doesn't understand.

"I could ask you the same question." I say staring down at my coffee, stirring with one of those black plastic stick things.

"Didn't you get frustrated with me because I was deflecting? Why are you doing it right now?" Questions after questions, I just want to sit in silence.

"Yeah, good point. But today I'm just not feeling like dwelling in my gloom." I insincerely laugh.

"We don't have to talk about our dark problems, we can talk about dumb stuff. Like if the chicken or the egg came first." He smiles a little, he barely knows me and he's still trying to cheer me up.

"Egg." I say, completely forgetting about what we said before.

"How though? You have to have a chicken to get a chicken egg." Mason says, defending his point of view.

"Evolution." I simply reply.

"What does evolution have to do with chicken eggs?" He chuckles slightly.

I smile at the deep chuckle, "It's been proven that birds, evolved from dinosaurs, so in my mind assume that somewhere along the line a pterodactyl's eggs where hatching a mutation in the genealogy occurred and a chicken hatched. Which would say the egg came first." I explain all my reasoning.

Mason is doing the thing I noticed he does when he's thinking, his eyes are slightly squinted and his mouth is slightly to the side. "You do have a good argument, definitely changed my answer for that question." He smiles to himself.

"Do you like the rain?" I ask him looking out the window to see the rain that had slightly picked up since earlier.

"I would say so, some people find it calming, others find it scary. I just think it's powerful." He says, surprising me with his answer.

"I think it's beautiful. Just think a natural occurrence can vary from a drizzle to a hurricane. Reminds me of a lot of things." I say that last part quietly, mainly an observation for myself. But when I look back from the window to Mason, he's staring at me intently, figuring me out.

"Another good point." He mumbles under his breath as if he was taking notes of things I do.

We sit at the cafe table, taking mental notes of each other, laughing at meaningless things to keep ourselves from the darkness we don't want to open up about.

_________________________________
A/N
Do like the rain?
Which came first? The chicken or the egg?
Thanks for reading!
<3