Wherever We Go

Chapter 2:

Two weeks had passed since Josef arrived on the farm. 

One Sunday morning, as he was playing with Hannelore, who'd requested this playmate ever since he'd come, Hannelore asked "Where is Zofia?" Her name came at a jolt and he was surprised that the child could remember so much. Zofia passed though his mind but it was all shaken as the child nudged him. "Actually, I don't know where she is." The question did not seem to satisfy her.

"Then why don't you find her?"

Why don't I find her? Because she told me to go and I broke her heart and she broke mine and she wouldn't want me. I'm not half as good as a man for her. 

Zofia was a beautiful creature. A strong, bold and hopeful and lively person. He wasn't possibly good for her. He winced, internally and smiled bitterly at the thought that they could have a future together and that he could find her.

That she would still love him.

That night, Josef lay in bed but the seed was planted. Find Zofia and tell her what? Beg her to marry him? To tell her sorry for all that happened? For what? As he thought, Klara slipped into his mind. Her pigtails bouncing and small face pouting. 

"You are always too busy being good. You're always occupied. No time to do what you want, to seek your desires. Jojo, you need to indulge in your whims! Take a risk! Come play with me! ". But Klara, you don't know half of what's happened to me. Indulge in your whims. Take a risk. Josef wanted a sign and Hannelore and Klara had been it. 

But I can't!

What is holding you back?

Failure? Heartbreak?

I can never have her. Take a risk! Fine, Josef sighed. Alright, little sister, I'll listen to you. This once. Only. I'm putting my heart on the line. Then again, I don't deserve this life. But I'll do it for you, Klara. And yourself, Jojo.

A few weeks later, a small telegram arrived. It was from Mrs. Yost.

"Here son, I went to camp to drop off some supplies and Mrs. Yost told me to give this to you. She said that it should have arrived sooner but due to war and whatnot, it only arrived today. "
"Thank you sir. "

Josef took the telegram into the barn, where he stayed and lit the lantern. Who was it from? Was it Zofia? Hopefully, Josef took it out of its crisp white envelope.

"We regret to inform you but Henrick and Ada Mueller have passed on due to wartime casualties. The governor of Caulta sends his regrets. "

They were dead.

Nobody left in this world for him.

How was he going to live now?

What about a sense of normality?

Josef sat on a bundle of hay, his head in his arms. He knew that they were most likely not alive but this telegram had just confirmed it.

After Klara had passed away, the Mueller family was awkward. They didn't know how to speak and to interact with each other anymore. Josef would find his mother crying in the kitchen and he almost never saw his father. His father lived on his boat and left for work early and came back late. A few months later, Josef was drafted into the German Army.

He didn't want to go but he knew that it would cause more trouble for his family. And joining the Army was always mandatory.

Always.

Mandatory.

Before he left, Grandmama had given him an engraved locket. It was made of tarnished silver and in a circular shape. She told him that he would be alright and that everyone would be.

Josef wondered if she was talking to herself or him.

He'd opened the locket and found a slip of lace and a curl of hair.

The lace was from Grandmama's mother's wedding dress. It had been passed down through the generations.

The curl of hair was Klara's.

Josef left and he didn't return. He never saw his parents again.

Life in the army was hard but Josef tried to find ways to resist. He was tired and hurt. He needed to leave.