A Weekend Ruse (Older!AU)

Ｃｈａｐｔｅｒ⑧

What the hell is happening?

Shocked, Dipper stands frozen. Her lips are warm against his cool flesh. He stares at her with wide eyes. Her closed eye lids fill his vision, blurring in and out of focus. A stray blonde curl tickles the tip of his nose. He blinks.

Okay, this is just insane.
He lifts his hands from his sides, grabbing hold of her pointy elbows. He squeezes as if to pull her away, but he doesn't. He doesn't get the chance.

He sneezes.

"Bloody hell!"

Ann flings back gasping, stepping away to spit and wipe her face in disgust. Well, that's one way to break a kiss.

Dipper wipes his mouth on his soaked sleeve, biting back a smile, before he rubs his red nose.

"Sorry," he says with a sniffle, unable to keep the astonished laughter out of his voice. That hadn't been on purpose. Oh god. It was actually pretty gross. And he actually does feel sorry.

He can't even muster up the energy to be mad about the kiss, because he just sneezed all over her face! Probably even in her mouth.
"Sick," Ann mumbles, giving her face one last good swipe.

She frantically digs into her pocket, getting out a small bottle of Germ-X and spreading it all over her hands and cheeks. She then looks up at Dipper who's still leaning against the wall, his face somehow looking both amused and horrified.

She blinks a few times, disappointment flittering across her eyes. She then steps over to the other side of the elevator, sighing as she weaves a hand through her hair.

She then laughs, shaking her head. "Wow, that was really stupid of me."

"Yeah, it kind of was."
The doors chime open, Dipper pushes off the wall and exits without another word. Ann's right behind him though, her binder back under her arm as they walk towards his dorm.

"I don't know what came over me. I know I've apologized to you a million times over, Dipper, but that kiss was... I don't know why I did that. Maybe I just thought-"

"What? That we'd kiss and magically fall in love?"

"Completely idiotic, I know."
They take a few steps in silence, stopping in front of his door. Ann stands awkwardly by his side. He looks her over as he scoops his keys out of his pants.

She's blushing, clutching her binder to her chest, and staring at the drop of sauce he hadn't realized was on his jeans.

"You know, Dipper, I use to think that I'd be so good for you; that you somehow needed me. But I don't think we would've made a good pair after all. I mean, kissing you just then was like putting my mouth on a dead fish. You didn't respond at all, and that was just so, so... clarifying."

Dipper shrugs.

"No offense, Ann, but I thought what happened last night should've been a big enough clue that I don't..." He sighs, taking a deep breath. He leaves the sentence unfinished.

But honestly, even though he always tried to act civil towards her, wasn't it obvious that he never really liked her? His fingers curl around the crescent moon of his necklace.

"I mean, come on. I think I made it pretty clear that I'm in love with my girlfriend."
She nods, looking away bashfully.

"I get it now. I do. You don't need me to be your anything. And I... I'll just have to live with that. So maybe I should just leave you alone for awhile. But when this passes over properly, I really would like for us to become better friends, Dipper."