Don't Let Me Fall (Emo Love Story)

Chapter 30

A few hours later I was finally able to pull myself together, the memories were still flooding my mind, and the pain is fresh, it feels like everything was happening all over again, the sexual assault, Keaths betrayal, the years of bullying I had been forced to endure, the friends I lost, my cousin turning her back on me, my parents...how they're never around, how much of a disappointment I am to them.
I can still feel all the physical pain I had experienced over the years, from the kids at school, and my parents themselves.
Slowly I got up off my bed and went to the door, sighing before finally opening the door and walking out into the hall.
"Oh Alison, I was just on my way to grab you." Dr. Wilson said as she gave me a smile, you could tell that it was forced.
"Sorry, I just needed a little bit of time alone." I apologized.
"Thats quite alright, would you come with me to the visiting room?" Dr Wilson asked.
"Sure?" I said, well more like asked.
Without another word, Dr. Wilson turned on her heel and led the way, we down several hallways that I had yet to explore.
Finally we made it to a door at the end of a hall with the word 'Visitor' on a metal plaque, and judging my the corners, it was quite sharp.
"Why would they have a metal plaque on a door, with sharp corners...in a psychiatric hospital of all places?" I thought to myself, slightly amused, but before I could really come up with an answer to my own question, Dr. Wilson opened the door to the visiting room.
I felt this uncontrollable rage build inside me, and all I could do was glare at him.
It was Keath.
The pain, anger, love, and hate, all exploded inside me at the same time, threatening to burst at any second.
"Hey." Keath said awkwardly standing there, fidgeting with his hands.
I couldn't even say anything, I stood there, silent not knowing what to do, cry? Scream? Yell? Or walk away? I was so confused, all I know is I'm literally about to burst from emotions, I just haven't figured out which one was stronger than the rest.
"I'll just leave you two alone for now, Alison would you please go take a seat?" Dr. Wilson asked.
I looked at her and she was questioning me with her eyes, she didn't know exactly what was going on besides I was uncomfortable and confused obviously.
I closed my eyes and let my face go stone cold, no emotion showing at all, and walked into the room where Keath was standing in the middle of the room.
I could faintly hear the door close behind me, slowly I walked towards the couch opposite of where he stood.
Sighing Keath went to take a seat next to me.
"Don't you fucking think about it." I practically growled at him.
"What is your problem Ally?" Keath asked shocked at my harsh tone.
"You. You're my problem." I hissed at him.
"I didnt do anything wrong Ally." Keath argued.
"You cheated on me. With my cousin, might I just add." I pointed out.
"Ally, I said I'm sorry. What more do you want from me?" Keath asked.
"I don't want anything from you." I glared.
"Obviously you do Ally." Keath pointed out.
"I don't want your half hearted apologies, I don't want you're pity, I don't even want to see you Keath. The sight of you makes me sick to my stomach." I said through clenched teeth, its a lie. Which part? All of it, I love him I really do, and this kills me, but I can't get the thought of him having sex with my cousin in our bed, I can't ignore the pain I feel when I look at him...and I can't forgive him for this.
"If you didn't want my pity, you wouldn't have attempted a suicide to get back at me for what I did, thats childish as fuck, and you know it." Keath spat at me.
"You were the icing on the cake Keath, it wasn't just because of you." I answered simply, looking away from him.
"Then tell me why." Keath said.
"I dont have to explain anything to you, all you'll do is go tell Katie, then the two of you can have a good laugh at how pathetic I am." I hissed at him once again.
"You know what? Katie was right, this is fucking pointless. I shouldn't have come here to let you know that I support you. All you want is attention." Keath hissed back.
Just as I opened my mouth to tell him to fuck off he was already exiting the room, slamming the door behind him.
I sat there for a few minutes trying to process what exactly just happened. Before getting up off the couch I was sitting on, and walking out the door.