A Glance At The Chapters

The good day

    I wish I could be more grateful for being alive. I wish I could wake up and be a tad bit positive but my good days were quiet days. Days where I felt nothing, where I was not tuned in enough to know what I was feeling. I couldn't tell what day it was and I struggled to get out of bed. I could barely grasp what I was doing, I just knew I did something and the day had come to an end. It was simpy time for me to rest.
    Everything tasted the same, everything was always gray. The sort of days where the sun was clearly shining but it was still cold but not too cold to put on something heavier.
   Days and even weeks merged and my brain couldn't separate them. In fact I couldn't differentiate between the days and nights and even worse reality from fantasy. Was I really awake at six in the morning or was that in my dream, I guess I'll have to ask my sister.
     A small dose of serotonin at a random hour of the day where I could sit and listen to my music. That was the only time I was truly alive. Where I could truly tell where I was and how the room smelled. The fuel that let me live till the end of the day.