The Breach

4. T Minus Everything

Paul Rhodes was once again feeling like shit. It hasn't been the first day and it won't be the last; recently it has been happening more and more often though. It has gotten surprisingly worse ever since Anna has fallen off the radar. Mostly because he couldn't shake the feeling that it was somehow his fault.

It made his stomach heavy every single time he started wondering whether she was dead or rogue. He honestly didn't know which one of these options would have been better. The worst thing about all this was that something kept telling him that she's not coming back no matter what the underlying reason for her absence was. That, and that the last words he ever said to her will always be you're reading too much into this; you're too smart for your own good, you have to let it go. She stormed out of his office without a word, slamming the door shut on her way out. Two days later she disappeared. And if Blaze was telling the truth, she disappeared with a rogue agent.

„Something on your mind?" Roy's voice suddenly came from his left. He didn't even notice the man standing next to him.

„Regret, not enough sleep and the usual shit. You need something?"

Roy Benitez was a tall, vaguely sympathetic-looking man, but there was also something about his appearance that screamed I don't take bullshit from anyone. Paul wasn't able to brush him off. He never could.

„No, I don't", Roy said, a puzzled expression on his face. „But something tells me that you do. What the fuck is going on with you, Rhodes? I can see that something is wrong. You're usually a pain in the ass, but recently it's almost like you're on a personal crusade or something."

Paul shot him a bored look and turned around to open one of the nearby fridges. He took out a bottle of beer and gestured with it at Roy. When the man nodded, he handed him another.

„Life's life, that's all," Rhodes finally said, opening both bottles with his keys and sitting down on his own desk soon after he handed a bottle back to Roy. „I'm old. I'm tired. There's not really much more to say."

„It's not your fault, Paul. You know that."

Shit. He could always see right through him. Probably due to surprise, the next words left his mouth without too much thinking.

„She was supposed to take after me, Roy. She was the smartest kid I've ever met. SHD didn't deserve her. She was shit in the field, yes, but damn the ideas she had. And now she's gone. And the last conversation we had was... not really pleasant."

Roy sighed and took a sip from his bottle. He's seen Rhodes angry multiple times, but he's never seen him so resigned. He needed to approach him carefully. Luckily, walking on eggshells was something he was exceptionally good at.

„I know what you mean," he said after a while. „I liked her too. But maybe she's onto something. You know how she loved all those conspiracy theories, running around chasing encrypted messages and hidden clearance levels. And you know that she won't change her mind about you just because of you being an asshole. She knew you too well for that."

Rhodes snorted and took a sip from his bottle to hide the twitch of his Adam's apple. He wasn't going to start crying in front of Benitez. There's no way he was going to give the man that much satisfaction.

„I know. But it's still... hard." He said after a while, almost downing his beer in two huge sips. He reached for another bottle and completely ignored the stern look Benitez shot him at that.

„You drinking again?"

„I don't think I ever stopped."

Benitez was worried about Rhodes. He knew the man had a very unhealthy relationship with alcohol. He used to drink a lot less when Anna was around but it was true, he probably never really stopped. And it wasn't getting any better now.