Rage and Rebellion (Histories of Havenhearth)

8.4 Cerys

Cerys could not recall where she was upon awakening. Where was her sister who she shared a room with at home? Looking around in a panic for her, all she saw were the slit windows. Realisation came. Alone in a room in the hot wet summer of Cassion. Her next thought was of anticipation of the nothingness given to her by the ergot. Sitting in a room alone, unable to see much, unable to do anything, it was just too boring. She did not come to Cassion to wait in a room, so she had to experiment and explore something. The ergot allowed her to do that. Plus it gave her feelings she had never had before, her thoughts were more interesting, the images in her mind were vivid and told exciting stories, physical touches were amplified, she wasn't bored anymore. It was the perfect way to kill time, and it had the added benefit of abating her hunger and thirst. And she didn't need much at all to get there. Just a little puff, that was all it took.
This time it seemed to take an eon for the paste to heat up over the flame. There it was, it started to bubble, but the scent was different, it wasn't sweet this time, the smoke had an acrid burning smell to it. But it had to be ready by now, she was certain. The pipe went to her mouth, but no smoke came in when she inhaled. She tried again, sucking in a deep breath. Nothing. And several times more. Eventually she gave up and dismayed, stared up at the ceiling from her bed. A cobweb had formed at the top one side of the four posters. She knew little of what happened over the next while, but she had an image of an animal lying on a bed, grunting, angry, crying, screaming from pain and discomfort and nausea. The real Cerys in the mirror looked down at her, shook her head with disgust. And Floren came again and kissed the real Cerys in the ceiling, leaving the imposter alone and confused on her bed, tears running down her cheeks. The Cerys in the bed's eyes filled with hatred for the other one, the one who was comfortable and calm and with Floren. There were noises outside of the room again, out in the courtyard, but they didn't concern Cerys, they had nothing to do with her, so she ignored them. Sleep. Sleep, food, sleep, and a feeling of returning strength and of normal sensations in her body. What had she turned into?
Was her wanderlust to be blamed? That constant curiosity to go to new places, see new things, to try new things? Floren changed suddenly to Bernebe. Weak Bernebe. She thought she might have been able to love him at some point, as she knew he loved her, but the moment Floren had appeared, that was all over. Bernebe had made her feel safe at the start of her journey, and he been a confidence builder for her, making her feel desirable, special. Floren had too though, but look where that had brought her? How could she have been so stupid? No, maybe it wasn't stupidity. Floren was an adventurer, but so was she. She did it want to sit in a salon doing embroidery while Bernebe, or someone, read their books. She was a free spirit, a wildling, and wanting to be with another was not stupid, despite what others might say. Why was Floren even here? It must have been some important mission, she was certain that she would never find out. She yearned for him, for the brilliant, powerful waves of the sea who had swept her up, carried her in their crests, and then dropped her down on the sea floor, rumbling over her to other destinations. Maybe she should reconsider Bernebe. He would take her if she wanted him to, she was certain, but the thought made her shudder. She waited for Floren to come, looking blankly at the ceiling and hoping that she had not ruined her life.
But it was not Floren who came:
A soft knock, almost imperceptible, but one which woke Cerys nonetheless. Was it him?
Her aunt, Yarazhenya appeared in the doorway, followed by a girl about her own age. A small straw mattress had also appeared on the floor.
Yarazhenya let out a small squeal and nearly jumped onto her: "Cerys! My dear Cerys!" embracing her niece. "Oh I'm so relieved! I've been so worried about you. But we are saved! Oh 'What would your mother say, if she knew we were staying here? Can you imagine her face?" And the two burst out laughing, a deep laugh of relief and happiness which made the bed rock. "Oh my sweetheart! It is good to see you. But do come closer a moment, look at me!" Yarazhenya's face was suddenly covered in worried lines. After studying Cerys' face for a few moments she screamed "he didn't!" Bursting into tears. "The monster!... ergot? Of all things I worried about and it's ergot that has got it's hands around your throat!"
"No it's fine Aunty, just a little bit. I've been in here on my own for I don't know now, three nights, ten nights, three hours? I cannot say. I had nearly food, no drink, and it helped me stay calm, safe, satiated."
"But this is how he looked after you?"
"It's fine Aunty, i think it's fine now," Cerys said, "and who is this with you?" She gestured towards the girl, who had until now stood at the doorway, looking mostly at the mirror in the ceiling.
Introductions between Wynemere and Cerys were made and explanations of the situation for everyone's point of view given.
"So we are under a siege?" Cerys asked.
"A siege within a siege it seems," her aunt replied. Cerys debated keeping quiet about the note she had received from Floren, figuring the plan might have changed since the circumstances had changed. But she needed to know if her aunt had heard anything.
Well I do have some news," Cerys said, "it may be a bit startling," yarazhenya sat at the edge of the bed, fiddling with the corner of one of the coverings. "Do you have anything to drink? Bad habit, I know, but it does help with my nerves," Cerys pointed to the jug, watching her aunt as she poured herself a cup and took a fraught. "Ale," she said with distaste, "but better than nothing." After another drink she added,
"Nothing can be any more startling than what we've been through, my dear,"
"No, no, it's good news. At least I think it is."
"You don't seem to happy about it,"
"Oh, I am, but, I just can't be sure what it means, I think,"
"Just spit it out then," her aunt snapped.
"Well- it- you see-, it seems that we may be getting rescued."
"Rescued?"
"I got a letter, signed F. Telling me, to rest and prepare to move,"
"I don't want to be rescued by him,' yarazhenya spat out the last word.
"You don't mean that, but well-" she went on, "I think it's a rescue for us three only, and the Wheatstones maybe."
"What do you mean?"
"Well it wasn't clear, and I burned it so I'm not even sure I read it correctly, but I think it said, room and family only. I didn't know what that meant, since there was nobody else here, but now I know. Or at least I think I do- it meant the people in my room, so us three, and the Wheatstones. Maybe the two sisters. Some of us have chosen to be spared."
"So that just leaves Bernebe?" Yarazhenya asked.
"And the capitaine," Wynemere added. "Although who knows where she is now,"
"Well, I I I suppose some is better than none..." her aunt stanmered with a sigh, flipping her head down into her palm, propped up on her elbow.
"You think so?" Cerys asked. "Well then I will need your help," she addressed Wynemere, who was sat on the straw. "I need you to make sure my aunt goes,"
"What do you mean make sure I go? Of course I will go!"
"I thought you might refuse if I stay behind,"
"Stay behind? What in the spirits are you talking about?"
"We can't leave Bernebe," yarazhenya and Wynemere exchanges glances.
"Oh we can indeed, he has done nothing but drink, sulk, take ergot... and interfere,"
"No auntie, we can't. I'll stay with Bernebe,"
"Absolutely not, you cannot. You could die if you stay here. They could kill you!"
"Oh Auntie, I can't. He protected me when we came here, as best as he could, and he remained in Chevelles for me. Did you know that? He was supposed to go elsewhere for his research. I could never live with myself if I knew something happened to him. I can't just leave him. Look at me. I'm not worth saving," Yarazhenya tried a different tactic, and in a soothing voice, while stroking her niece's hand, "let's just wait and see ok?" Cerys felt blood rushing to her head and the room began to turn- it was another attack from the leftover ergot. She allowed herself to be soothed by her aunt's gentle touch.

All three of them were startled  awake by a brisk knock at the door. They all froze. Another rap. Yarazhenya roused herself out of bed, and creaked open the door, staggering back, her hands shooting to her open mouth. A figure in black entered the room, quickly closing the door behind him. He strode purposefully to the slits, looked out, seemed satisfied with the situation, and pulled off his face covering. "You!" Yarazhenya screamed, lunging at Floren, thumping on his chest with her fists, tears streaming from her eyes. "What did you do to her?" She wailed. He hugged her arms to her and she stopped thumping him, turning towards Cerys. For a moment, the two of them stared at each other awkwardly. "Are you all right?" He asked. She nodded, a little in shock at seeing him, a little torn between jumping up to kiss him in front of her aunt. She tried to get out of bed, but couldn't. "I thought you might be dead,"  he approached her, giving her hand a quick kiss.
"What's happened to your face?" Cerys asked, for Floren had a large black eye, and a sizeable gash down his cheeks. "I've been working," was all he revealed, "it's nothing to worry about, really, never mind. So we meet again Wynemere," he said, giving a little smile. Cerys eyebrows went up in surprise, and she felt a pang of jealousy shoot through her, making her skin prickle. "And I trust you are well Yarazhenya," but he did not wait for a response "Where did she put the others?"
"In rooms down the hall from here I believe," yarazhenya replied. "They'll have to stay then, we don't have much time,"
"'I'm not coming with you,' said Cerys.