The Dark Side of the World (TDA)

*Chapter 17*

Disclamer: I own none of this stuff

After the go-ahead by Jace on James's plan, we all go to get weapons from the institute's training room. It's a room with a high, vaulted ceiling and many various places to train, and big shelves and closets full of every kind of weapon you can possibly imagine. From swords and knives to maces and morning stars. 

James shuffles through the weapons, handing some to Tess and stuffing them in his boots and jacket. Tess and Sophie stand behind him, splitting any weapons handed to them amongst themselves and brimming with excitement. Amy leans up against the wall, a passive look on her face. And me, I just stand there. 

Despite Clary's ruling that I should be allowed to go, I'm not really included in the shadowhunter's preparations. Rightly so, I can't imagine knowing what to do if James handed me one of his weapons. But still, it feels weird to just stand there.

I'm also nervous. I don't quite know what James hopes to accomplish on this outing, and I'm to scared to ask. I'm still not sure how much I want to know about my Mother, about her life. It's the main reason I haven't asked even more questions. And going to her house, our house I suppose, with a new view on her life, I'm scared of what I'll find. She hid this from me all of my life. What else could she be hiding?

I'm brought out of my thoughts by a voice saying, "Here." I look over to see James standing there, two knives in his extended hand. 

I can't help feeling opposed to the idea of even carrying them. It makes me wonder what I might be doing, and who I might be doing it too...

James seems to see my hesitation, because he offers me a small smile.

"Don't worry." he says in a calming voice. "You probably won't even have to use them, and I know you don't know how. But if worst comes to worst, you're going to want to have them. Trust me."

And I do. I do so much, that some times it scares me. So I take the knives and shove one in the black combat boots I was given earlier by Sophie, and the other in my pocket. James nods approvingly. 

"So what's your plan exactly?" Amy asks.

James looks over at her curiously. "I don't know. We'll find out when we get there, I guess. Why?"

"I just don't know how good of an idea this is. I mean, whoever is orchestrating this is obviously at least little bit smart, and probably knows we're coming back to the house. What if they're waiting there to ambush you with a whole army? " 

I hadn't though of that, and it's obvious James hasn't either. But instead of admitting defeat, he pulls a little gadget from his pocket. It looks a bit like a phone, but instead of numbers to press, it has runes all over it.

"Well, you see, we do have this thing here called a sensor-" James starts sarcastically, but is cut off by Amy.

"They might not be demons, you idiot. The person we saw at the house wasn't." she says darkly.

"Wait a second. You saw someone at the house." Tess demands.

James looks uncomfortable as every eye in the room turns suddenly on him. I can't blame him. I don't like attention either.

My heart skips a beat thinking about who might have been at the house. The woman from before? Or someone new who is just as thirsty for revenge. I remember her words all those days before, about how this wasn't about me, it was about Mom. Something I still haven't told anyone, and am now wondering if I should have. Would it change anything? Too late now, I guess.

"First of all, we don't really know for sure who she was. There are other ways to look like a shadowhunter, like tattoos for example. Secondly, Tess, yes we did see someone there the other day on patrol. But we didn't get very close, and nothing even happened so just calm down a bit, okay?" he says

Tess crosses her arms defensively, reminding me of Clary. "You saw the same person as before sneaking around the house we're about to go investigate and I'm not supposed to make a big deal about it?"

"I have to agree with Tess on this one." Amy says. "You should have told someone about it."

James sighs, and without answering, goes over to another closet on the far wall and takes out a sets of what looks like the sort of stuff he was wearing the first day I met him. The black gear that didn't really get wet, luckily for him.

I feel a bit bad for him, being ganged up on by his nearly all-girl family.

He tosses sets of the black gear to both Tess and Sophie and then finally to me. It surprises me, but I suppose if it's for protection why not? I look over to see how the other girls put it on, and try to copy them, slipping it over my other clothes without a problem.

"Lots of things are happening right now, and I didn't want to worry Mom and Dad." James says, his voice slightly muffled by the gear he's attempting to get over his head.

"Clary doesn't need protecting, James. She's an adult and she's been through far more in two years then you might ever go through in your entire life." Amy replies flatly. "And the same goes for the rest of them."

"I know that! But I can't help it. I just feel like it's our thing and we should be handling it alone. And I know Mom's gone through a lot, that they all have, but that's exactly why I want to do this. They don't need to go through even more."

"Like losing a son? Maybe a daughter too?" Amy counters, her voice rising. "You're right that they don't need to go through any more, three wars is quite enough for anyone, and if I could make it that way without anyone dying I would. (A/N Hi, me again. Just a reminder that I'm counting the two wars in the Mortal Instruments, so the one with Valentine and the one with Sebastian, plus the one that she helped fight in book three of The Dark Artifices. So three in total.)God, of course I would. But that's not how it works, James. If you try and do this all by yourself, then you might as well say goodbye to at least one member of the group in front of us right now. Maybe more."

James doesn't seem to have a response to that. He stays quiet. He stuffs a few more weapons in his belt, and heads out the door, his expression one of defeat, with Tess and Sophie on his heals. I start to go the same way, but am stoped by Amy.

"I'm sorry you're getting roped into this, I really am. But if you could do just one more thing?" she asks, biting her lip.

I nod. "Sure, I don't mind really. What is it?"

"Protect James." she says. Well I definitely didn't expect that one. I must look confused, because she quickly goes on,"I don't mean in battle, angel knows he doesn't need any help there, he takes after his parents that way. Just try to make sure he doesn't do anything stupid. He's grown up with his father's many tales of how he and his friends broke the law for the sake of the world, it's all he knows. But that was a different time and Jace, Alec and Izzy's parents were never there for them. It's different now. But I don't think he knows that."

There's desperation in her voice, more raw emotion then I've seen from her so far. I guess it doesn't surprise me, or shouldn't, they are related after all. But somehow the small age difference between them and their lack of affection towards each other makes me forget it sometimes. The pain on her face is so real that it makes me want to give her a hug.

"I mean Tess could do it" Amy goes on, "I know she cares and might know better then he does already, but she just seems so willing to go along with any plan that includes action that I'm scared she wouldn't do anything if it came down to it." 

I think of Tess, and her eagerness to go on this outing. Amy's probably right.