chan stayed at felix's place for the night since it was raining hard and felix insisted on chan staying.
and who was chan to argue with felix?
the past night felix slept in his own bed while chan slept in the couch. felix hated sleeping alone, he wanted to be in chan's arm but is too afraid to ask.
the next morning felix woke up feeling little since he cried all night yesterday. he cried because of himself, he hated not knowing how to express things the way he wants, he also hated him.
he made felix this way. he terrified felix. he was disgusting. he hated the effect he has, the what he still haunts him, even to this day.
thinking of him made felix choke. it made him feel so scared, he couldn't help but to cry it all out. he didn't know how to regulate his trauma just yet.
chan abruptly woke up, immediately feeling like something was wrong. he rushed to felix's room and his suspicions were correct.
felix was there crying behind the blanket, his thumb in his mouth, all pruney, which gave chan the idea that it had been there for a long time.
chan grabbed felix's paci and sat on the bed, handing felix the comfort item
felix took it immediately and made grabby hands towards chan, chan took that a sign as an invitation to cuddle.
chan pulled felix close to him and stroked his hair, making sure that felix could only hear his heartbeat.
"hey, hey shush felix i'm right here baby, dada's right here."
felix calling chan dada was normal to chan since he's been spending his time with the younger.
felix just sobbed more to the point of his paci falling. chan could feel his heart breaking in two, seeing felix so broken and he didn't know the cause of it.
felix just looked at chan and chan tried to put on a smile for felix to signal that it was okay. felix hated this, of course chan would hug him and gave him the most he could give, but he wanted little kisses from chan, he wanted chan to sleep beside him, he wanted everything, he wanted to be with chan.
"i- i hate chu.." felix mumbled
"what was that lix?"
"i said i hate chu!"
felix said and pushed chan away from him. chan widened his eyes, confused on what he did for felix to act this way.
"w-what?"
"i wan da- channie to wuv me, i wan k-kissies fwom channie, i wan cuddlies, i wan channie to call lixie his, i wan channie to make lixie nightmawe go away, i wan channie to sing to me, i wan channie, i no wan channie to weave, i wan wake up beside channie, i wan channie! i wanna channie to stay wif me!"
felix sobbed in between almost every sentence, he was so desperate for chan to believe him.
chan teared up, he wanted it too. he pulled felix to his embrace as felix sobbed in his chest.
"h-hey lixie, channie is sorry okay? channie wants that too. i was just afraid that i'll scare you or maybe even hurt you. i'm sorry baby."
"c-channie wont huwt lixie, i know chu wont."
"i won't sweetheart."
"please no leave, stay, please."
"hey, lixie look at me."
felix looked up at chan seeing the small tears in chan's eyes.
"i won't ever leave you, i will stay with you. you can be mine baby i want you to be. i love you so much lixie i won't ever hurt you. i will try my best to make you smile and if i make you cry i want it to be out of happiness okay? i love you."
"i wuv u too."
chan leaned in as their lips connected. felix felt his soft lips and it was so perfect for him, the chemistry between them were undeniable.
they pulled away, felix smiled and leaned his head on the crook of chan's neck, chan kissed his forehead. this was perfect.
༉‧₊˚✧ ੈ♡˳
(thank you for reading and i hope hyunjin is okay..)
