(slight angst..?)
tw: self harm
chan stayed with felix of course, but he was feeling different. after the incident chan felt worse, felix was okay but seeing the wounds and cuts broke him.
chan blamed himself for not acting fast enough. he blames himself for making felix this way, he blames himself for not protecting felix, his baby. even though, it wasn't his fault.
chan had this feeling. his arms itching. he felt bad, he didn't feel good at all. he felt the same way as he felt years ago.
he walked into the bathroom. looked into the mirror, seeing his tears made him angry, why was he so weak? why did felix want him? he was nothing special.
he punched the mirror, until it cracked, there were some shattered mirror pieces fell into the sink.
he picked one up. knowing what he would do with it.
he needed to cut. he hated this, hated this feeling that he abandoned years ago. but he had to do it. he had to punish himself.
that's what he thinks,
he glided the shattered glass into his pale white clean wrist. he glided it not to deep, just a few scars. it didn't hurt, it felt the same. he didn't care anymore.
he knew this feeling all too well
after three cuts he realised what he did. he broke down and cried. he cleaned up the blood and walked out. covering his wrist.
he was tired, and it didn't help that felix wasn't little. felix was his everything, and chan knew that he's been forcing himself out of littlespace. there were times where he saw felix almost slipped but forced it back down.
"d-dada..?" felix mumbled trying to find chan.
chan broke out of his thoughts and turned his head, and saw felix with his favorite plushie and paci in his mouth eyes wide trying to find chan.
"i'm here baby."
felix's eyes sparkle when he saw his dada sitting on the couch slumping. he waddled over and immediately cuddled chan and nuzzled his head on his chest. he looked up and his smile faded away, and a worried expression took over.
"dada sad?" felix said and he pulled away from chan and sat on his lap.
"no baby why would dada be sad?"
"eyes." he noticed chans swollen eyes.
" oh baby, i'm okay. i miss my baby so much."
felix placed his forehead against chans.
"dada lying."
"baby-"
felix accidentally pressed to chans new scars. chan winced and felix pulled his hand away and slowly lift up chans sleeves seeing the scars.
chan's tears that he's been hiding now fell. felix gasped behind his paci and hugged chan.
"dada nu cwy."
"i'm sorry baby, i-it's all my fault. i'm sorry dada is stupid now you're hurt."
felix cupped chan's face with tears in his eyes he shook his head. he hated seeing chan like this.
"nu dada, not yo fauwt, it was the big scawy car."
chan smiled and pulled felix into a tight hug.
"don huwt youself dada, lixie sad."
"i'm sorry baby i won't do it again."
༉‧₊˚✧ ੈ♡˳
(okay luv its been sad these past few chapters so now let's put oli london for fun😀)
(edit: i was evil.)
