I Need Them

The Crime

“Are you telling me you’d actually use it?” Buck demands, still holding the gun. “Why would you even--” Buck cuts himself off, looks at the gun, then back at Eddie, and suddenly, it becomes crystal clear.

“Oh my God. Please tell me I’m wrong.”

But Eddie can’t, and Buck knows it. It’s written all over Eddie’s face.

“You were actually going to shoot Mackey, weren’t you?”

Knowing better than to lie, Eddie nods, “Yes.”

Buck looks horrified at this, so Eddie explains,

“Mackey will get us all fired if you don’t do what he wants.”

Eddie sees the change in Buck’s eyes immediately upon understanding, so Eddie uses that to keep going, “Exactly. It’s getting worse, Buck. It’s one thing when you wanted to sue the 118 to get your job back, and when you thought you’d been wrongfully benched, that was perhaps misguided, but still understandable how you got to that point. You’re a grown man, Buck, and we can’t always stop you from making decisions we don’t agree with. But you’re not suing the team anymore. This whole thing has you sick to your stomach, and from what Mackey’s threatening us with, you have every right to be. Mackey’s gone off the deep end. And this is the guy using Chris as leverage?”

That finally gets Buck to look away in shame, but Eddie’s not done.

“My son? Our son? I refuse to let that happen to Chris.”

Buck reaches into the bag again, pulling out both the silencer and the magazine, looks at them all in his hands for several seconds before saying definitively,

“No. There has to be another way.”

With that, Buck stands up, going to set them down on the counter, Eddie following him as he says,

“There isn’t, Buck. We’ll ruin everyone’s lives.”

“You know how it feels to shoot someone, Eddie.” Buck reminds him, looking right at Eddie.

“Yeah, I do.” Eddie confirms.

“Well I don’t. I would never forgive myself if you re-triggered your PTSD by shooting a civilian, much less one that’s only in our lives because of me.”

Eddie reminds Buck right back, “I was a soldier fighting for my country. And yes, it still weighs on you. Believe me, I wasn’t planning on telling you what I was planning.”

At that, Buck’s face reaches a new level of horror, “Do you actually mean to tell me you were willing to take this to your grave? How exactly did you think that would work out?”

Seeing he’s got Eddie’s attention, Buck goes on, “Mackey is a serious problem, a very serious problem.” Buck holds up the gun for emphasis. “But this is something you can’t take back once it’s done, and deep down, you know that. Where the hell did you get it, anyway? And a silencer, too?”

Eddie admits, “Gun case in a pawn shop. I knew it was still there because I’m the one that sold it to them. My dad gave it to me as a going away gift when I enlisted in the army. But no one saw me take this one.” Eddie adds to assure Buck.