Full Exclusive Rights (bxb)

40. Sweet and Salty

     This is one of my favorite parts of the day. It's still dark, but shy rays of sunlight tear the twilight while the world is waking up. The sky is colored in warm shades of pink and the clouds look like large balls of cotton candy.

   I'm standing on my small balcony, slightly shivering, with a mug of hot coffee in my hand. It's a bit chilly so early in the morning in the end of September. I like it. The cold always helps me get out of the trance of the sleepless nights and switch to a more energetic state for the coming day.

   The distant cries of the seagulls, the chirping of the waking pigeons and sparrows and the yellow, heart-shaped leaves of the lime tree, sprinkled on the floor, make me smile, reminding me where I am. I love more and more with each passing day this lively sea town, the warm smiling people who live in it and the feeling of relief and hope they bring me.

   "Hey, beautiful, good morning! Why are you up so early?" I hear Em's voice behind me. The butterflies immediately start fluttering in my stomach. I'll never get used to the fact that he's my boyfriend. It's just so unbelievable.

   He wraps his arms around me, covering both our shoulders with a soft blanket and nuzzles his face in my hair.

   "Good morning, Dārin. I didn't want to wake you up by tossing and turning in bed." I press my back into his warm body.

   "What do you call me, love? It sounds so sweet," he asks, kissing my shoulder.

   "Oh, it's just...It's not common to use pet names in Japan," I try to explain. "We rarely show our affection by using words like 'honey' or 'sweetheart'. Such revealing displays of attachment seem too excessive. Calling someone by the first name, already means that I feel the person very close."

   I blush a little but continue, "Here everyone is so expressive. You like kissing and hugging, even if you've just met the person. I really like it, but it's one of the things I have to get used to."

   I hesitate. Em immediately encourages me by kissing my cheek and squeezing me closer, so I go on. "I ... I ...really want to show you that... that... あなたは私にとって重要な人物です(Anata wa watashi ni totte jūyōna jinbutsudesu)* . I mean...you're so important to me."

    I take a deep breath and blurt, "So, I decided to call you ダーリン (Dārin). I guess it's just our version of 'darling'. If you agree, I would ...call you this way."

   Em turns me carefully to face him and pecks my lips.

   "I love it, kitty. You're so precious. Thank you for telling me all this and choosing such a nice pet name for me." 

   He presses his forehead to mine. "I hope it doesn't sound to you insincere when I call you all those names. I really mean them. You're the sweetest person for me."

   "Oh, no! I know that you are genuine. I...I really love all the ways you call me," I assure him, blushing like crazy. 

   Em chuckles and pulls me by the hand. "Come inside. You'll get cold." He intertwines our fingers and drags me to the kitchen. "I'll cook the breakfast. Can I look through the fridge?"

   "Yeah, sure. Please, feel like home. I'll make coffee for you." 

   I go to the espresso machine while Em is taking out products from the fridge and the cupboards and starts cooking. 

   He takes the mug of fuming coffee I hand him and smiles, "Do you like pancakes? Have you tried some with strawberry jam and white brined cheese?"

   "No, never tried this combination but sounds great," I smile back.

   "Yeah, people rarely mix the extra sweet jam with the salty cheese, but I assure you, it will be a hit on the mark." He winks at me and adds, "Just like you and me."

   We're sitting at the table, half an hour later, with a mouthwatering pile of pancakes in front of us, covered with dripping strawberry jam, melted cheese and sliced fresh strawberries, sprinkled on them.

   "Oh my God! This looks amazing!" I exclaim. "You really can cook."

   I've just gotten out of the shower and stare, astonished at the delicious breakfast, arranged on the table. 

   "Well, dig in," Em laughs, stuffing his mouth with pancakes. 

   I do the same and close my eyes, snorting contentedly at the marvelous taste. The sweet and salty are mixed and supplement each other in an astounding way. It's absolutely tasty. 

   We start gobbling the food as if we haven't eaten for days, looking at each other with smiling eyes.

   Em reaches across the table, taking my hand when we're done.

   He looks into my eyes insistently and says carefully, "Sunny, I'm going to ask you something. Don't forget, you can just tell me that you're not comfortable with the question. It'll be fine with me. You don't have to answer if you don't want to. Understood?" 

   I only nod. 

   "You didn't sleep last night at all, did you?" he asks.

   A sharp onset of anxiety immediately freezes my blood. I nod again to show him that he's right.

   "Was it because of me? You're not used to me being here?" His expression is serious and concerned.

   "No, it's not because of you," I barely speak.

   "So, you don't usually sleep at night, do you?" He's studying my face, squeezing encouragingly my hand.

   "I don't," I mumble.

   "When do you sleep then?"

   "In the afternoon, when I come back from lectures or any time of the day when I'm free. Whenever it's not dark outside," I mutter. 

   I'm so afraid he's going to ask me why that my hands start to shake. Em immediately lifts them and presses his lips to my fingers.

   "Don't be afraid, love. I'm not going to dig in things that you're not ready to talk about. Just one more question and this conversation is over," he says soothingly. 

   I nod in agreement.

   "Does this have anything to do with Emma telling you not to fall asleep in the car and the panic attacks?"

   "Yes," I whisper.

   "Ok, thank you for being honest with me," Em smiles. 

   He walks around the table, pulls me up and hugs me tightly in his arms. 

   "I'm here, my lovely. You don't have to be afraid of anything anymore," he whispers in my ear. "I'll be right here. Always."

___________________________________

* Youare an important person to me.

Photo by Nadi Lindsay from Pexels

A/N

Hello everyone at the end of Chapter 40!

Thank you for reading and supporting! ❤❤❤

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See you in the next chapter.

Love: Anny