Chapter 13

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Chapter 13: Wonder 

"It ain't always gotta be lightning and thunder, he won't make you wonder." 

Melanie Beaumont 

I took a deep breath, shaking my head. Anger. Pain. It surged through me harder than I thought it would. I wanted these feelings to go away.

The thoughts of Grayson's words pierced through me.

We were so good and then it was gone with a snap of a finger.

It had been weeks since I had last spoken to him. He pushed me away. Painfully but I should've expected it. The funeral was over. That's what he helped me with and now it was over.

It was my fault. I got mad and I didn't control myself.

He had managed to shoot me a text a couple of days after I got back home and then came over not too long after. We spent some time together but I ruined it all.

Why did I even bother trying again?

"You left me Gray, there's nothing that you could say to me that could make it okay. I gave myself to you and you took it and left me."

"That was years ago, years ago Mel, get over it." His words stung. He was right. It was years ago yet it still hurt like hell.

He had just been so mad lately and keeping me at arms length. All I wanted to do was help him but he wouldn't talk to me. He just ignored me if I asked any questions. 

"You ruined my life. You and your stupid family. My moms death- my dad's death and then you left me... Your family is perfect at ruining things. I just- God, you just pop up back into my life and everything starts going downhill from there."

He turned over to me with a harsh glare in his eyes, his hands clenched tightly on the wheel. It was a good thing we were at a red light. "What did you just say to me?"

"You ruined my life." I make sure to repeat it extra slow.

He laughed in response but I knew that nothing about what I had just said was even remotely funny. "I ruined your life? Did you ever think that maybe you ruined my life? God, I knew I shouldn't have come to tell you and that you would be this way. I should've just let you find out yourself. Fuck. I didn't do shit to you Mel. I'm the only one left to take care of you. Did you think about that? You have no family. No siblings, no cousins, no one. Your moms dead, your dad's dead, fuck even Beth is dead. I'm what's left Mel. Me. You have no one. Stop blaming me and stop fighting me. I could've left you, but no, I stuck around when I didn't have to. I didn't do shit to you. If anything, you should be thankful to have someone like me taking care of you. I know for a fact your stupid roommates wouldn't take your bullshit. I didn't ruin your life. You're ruining it on your own."

I could feel the tears prick my eyes but I wasn't going to cry. I wasn't going to let his words affect me.

"My life is all you now. It's the fucking Mel show. Jesus, I can't even leave you for a couple of hours without you doing something stupid. I didn't need to come, Mel. I didn't need to help you. I didn't need to pay for your fucking plane ticket, I didn't need to go back Briar with you but I did. I didn-"

"I didn't fucking ask you to do any of that! Have you not been listening? I never asked you to do these things. I have said multiple times that all I wanted was for you to leave me the fuck alone and- I hate you. You're a fucking ass." I exploded, I couldn't keep it in anymore.

I knew the street we were on and I knew that I could find my way back home.

"What the fuck, where the hell are you going?" I heard him shout as he rolled down the window.

"To get the fuck away from you."

I shook my head, forcing the memory out, tucking it away in the back of my mind. He didn't bother calling and texting. It was wrong of me to assume that it was his fault... that he ruined my life because he didn't.

I should've been paying attention. I should've been focusing on the road but I wasn't.

I didn't realize that someone had run a red light when mine was green. 

Here's chapter 13! 

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Here's chapter 13! 

XOXO, 

M.I Hers

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