The Playboy's Wicked Revenge

34: Not for me, for her

Sorry for the mistakes

Xander's Pov

" Ok then, come over " I said to Cole on the call

Kyle and Cole are coming over as its been long since the three of us met.

Its been two weeks, since I changed the house, I tried every possible way I could think of to talk with Sia, but I don't have any courage. Forget about talking I'm not able to see her in eyes

The past two weeks, I've drown myself in work and only work, so that somehow I could decrease the amount of guilt I feel but nothing is working.

Everytime I close my eyes, her crying face flash infront of me pleading to don't do this with her

I'm still trying to figure out how should I correct all this?

Yesterday, I was looking for something in the walk-in closet and I don't know how my gaze fell on a file which was tucked under something.

Thinking that the file is mine, I picked up and opened it only to get another dreadful shock. It was Sia's report which said that she is suffering from a severe depression, and she is in a dire need of therapy.

It also said that this kind of depression is so rare and serious that before people could even try to understand that what's going on, it eats you up from inside leaving no room of improvement.

This wasn't enough, the report is of one and half years with a prescription of anti depressant pills which is to take for 20 days only.

'What if she is still taking it? ' I thought.

I looked here and there, not knowing what to do, I searched her stuffs and found the pills.

Fuck!

She is taking Anti depressant pills from one and half years. She is killing herself and reducing the chances of getting better.

Although I did saw her taking the pills earlier but I thought its for normal things like headaches and stuffs

'Thanks to you' my inner self mocked me

I felt weak, ashamed, disgusted and angry by me But somehow I calm myself and clicked pictures of her reports with the pills.

I was thinking about whatever happened yesterday, just then Kyle's voice brings me out of my thoughts. Looking up I saw both my friends giving me strange look

I raised my eyebrows but they just shrugged and came to sit beside me. We were talking about random stuffs, I know they are just trying to cheer me up but its not helping.

After some more talk Cole ask " so, did you talk to her "

I shooked my head negatively

" I am not able to look at her, how am I gonna talk to her? Looking at her reminds me of all the things I've done" I said lowly

There was a silence of one minute after that Kyle said " Umm.."

" Umm X, don't mind me asking this but how come you've suddenly got soft, very soft spot for her " Kyle asked

" I mean as much as I know you, you don't feel guilty not even when you're wrong, you never care about anyone " He further added

Why my friends have to care this much?

Frankly speaking I don't have any answers to his question, even I don't know why I'm feeling guilty to this extent

Whenever I used to humiliate her or call her burden, I felt satisfied but somewhere there was always a little, very very little part of me who wants to be with her.