In the Wildflowers (Part Two)

The soulmate

     Fear, a pesky feeling that went away when you reach immortality. One you never expect to feel again. The whole castle shook with fear now. Another month had passed bringing July and bringing Carlisle all the closer to finally being with Sheridan again. For her it wasn't close enough. When she wasn't glued to her phone she was on a war path in court. Diplomacy out the window and brutality in her hands. She could not suffer through the pain alone any longer. It consumed her whole body from head to toe, Carlisle had been away for so long and no one warned her about the physical effects. The dry heaving and sobs were reserved for the walls of her bedroom. Even Rosalie could not calm her for long. Jasper had given up, he just let her feel even if it scared him to death.

"Sheridan dear, can I interest you in a walk in the gardens. See the sun for once." Her new found freedom had gone out the window. Her new, self implemented, control training was proving to be highly beneficial. She sat, unbothered all week as the Volturi fed on their tour groups. Seated in her throne just watching calmly. As calm as one could be at the sight of a slaughter. Even if she was allowed to wander the town at night, accompanied by someone for her protection, she refused. Unable to move some days, not even willing to walk the halls.

"Is it a request or an offer."

"A request." Aro was no longer charming to her. He had an agenda with every action. While his agenda now may be to ensure his survival for the next week.

"Undeniable as usual I assume." The venom in her words sunk through his skin and settle itself in. She would tear him to pieces just to try and rid the feelings she had. No one could sympathize with her. Even Jasper who had been away with her the whole time. He was old now, he as bonded and could feel Alice from so far away. They spent semester away from each other at school, they knew what it was like to be away from each other and the learned. Sheridan had only gotten a few days with Carlisle when she woke up. Not long enough for either of them. Now she looked for every outlet to stop the pain she felt.

     "I worry about you. I understand you are going through something difficult but you are not coping in a healthy way. Rosalie is frantic and you won't even bat an eye in her direction."

     "There is no need to put my problems on her, especially when there is nothing she can do. Perhaps I will walk with her instead." Aro relished in the idea. He feared for his life when it came to Sheridan. One wrong word or thought from her and it was a quick spiral down to unfathomable feelings.

     "I will call for her to meet you in the gardens." When Aro left Sheridan put on a brave face. Adorning her casual clothing instead of the gowns in the closet. Royal life gets tedious and tiring. Strapping yourself into corsets all day, luging around heavy fabrics and never mind trying to sit in them. It's an art really, the hoop skirts are meant strictly for standing but apparently sitting is possible. As Sheridan walked the halls she could feel the sadness creeping up on her no matter how hard she tried to push it away. Seeing Rosalie waiting made her feel guilty. She's been out here for so long yet Sheridan had barely seen her.

     "Rose."

     "Sher, I'm so glad you wanted to do something." There is was, the guilt growing and growing while she looked at her best friend.

     "I'm sorry I've been so terrible."

     "Dont apologize. I don't know the feeling but I can understand how hard it is. I could never go through what you are going through and every part of me wishes it wasn't happening."

     "I never expected it to be like this. No one told me, or even hinted at how difficult it would be. Carlisle is trying to comfort me by being the strong one but I can't help but feel even worse that he can't talk to me about it."

     "Carlisle had time to adjust while you were human, he can talk to you about it but he learned how to deal with it while you were at school. It's hard on him but the hardest part for him is knowing you are hurting."

     "The days never seem to end and it feels like he will never be here."

     "He will. If you didn't become a recluse the days would go by faster."

     "Don't even start with me. You're suppose to be supportive." Rosalie laughed loudly as they took a seat in the gazebo near the back on the gardens.

     "I am supportive, I didn't tell you that you look like a walking corpse."

     "Technically I am."

     "Well you aren't looking to hot at the moment."

     "Lies, I always look amazing." 

     The two girls spent most of the day outside, sometimes in silence, other times reminiscing of their time together in Washington. Sheridan hadn't realized how long she'd been gone or how much she missed her family. Jasper did his best to keep her updates but it was nothing like actually being there. For once she found her attention gone from her situation with Carlisle and replaced with the homesick feeling. The castle was beautiful but it was not home. Being in Italy is just an extended vacation she's hoping will end soon. She even missed working, all the kids she would meet and her colleges. 

     Many things were set to change when she went home though, she would always need to be conscious of her actions. She wouldn't be able to walk the streets of Seattle every day, the sun becoming her worst enemy. The downsides were all falling into place but she knew it would be righted when Carlisle was around. The downsides wouldn't look so down with Carlisle by her side. 

     The time would come, slowly but surely it would come.