Euphoric Dysphoria [A Naruto Fan Fiction]

Chapter 5 - Doubts

Being a heir to a country was difficult.

Lessons on etiquette, politics and all that stuff sometimes got a bit too much. Actually, scratch that. It was too much! Books, kimonos and ceremonies were all around the clock. She barely caught any sleep and her food was supposed to be "healthy" when it really tasted like expired dog food. The only thing she didn't mind were books but it was getting too overdone as well. Not to mention, her vision was getting fuzzy already! And she was a three year old girl going on four!

She sighed quietly as she adjusted her palm stuck to her chin.

Staring at the wooden high ceiling of the library was more of an interesting thing to do than to flip through books for hours. Speaking of ceilings, she wondered whether the ceiling would fall on her and crush her to death. Or maybe the bookcases would do the job. There were plenty enough to obscure the walls of the enormous room from view and to make sure she was squished human flesh and blood. She sighed for the umpteenth time.

The last important thing she heard was that she had an uncle. In prison. But apparently he was released now after he completed his time in jail for some years she couldn't bother remembering, for some reason she couldn't bother recalling. She was surprised to find out at first and she wondered why he was sent there. Maybe she was told that bit of information sometime in the past but she had probably forgotten. She certainly wouldn't be surprised if she were to forget her very own name. She couldn't bother remembering anything, actually. Especially numbers. In her previous life, she complained about how school was hard and how easy the lives of royalty and the higher-ups were, but this life gave her so much to remember and it proved all her theories about the higher-ups wrong.

Being Kotone, the heir to the mighty throne of the Fire Country was hard work. And to be honest, she wasn't really a hardworking person then and she could tell that the trait had followed her into this life as well. She had a good life, free of danger and worries, so she never found reason to do anything since everything had been set out for her like a template. She just had expectations to live up to as a teenager in her old life. Something she barely even tried at despite being bestowed with oh so great responsibilities. She wasn't interested in studying hard to get a wacky job just for money only to properly experience peace on her deathbed at eighty either.

But now, things have changed.

The lessons she was being taught now was actually worth something. She was the heir to the throne of the Land of Fire in the fictional world of Naruto. Something she would only daydream about and swoon over the thought of. And now she was to be Daimyō when she grew older. No doubt when she would have to rule, she would have to act proper and educated. Even though her uncle was quite an airhead, therefore putting the country in great risk, she didn't want to threaten lives. She couldn't see herself bearing such a burden and she couldn't see herself escaping her responsibilities in the first place. It was not like she had a choice either. She had been pushed to face a fear she never encountered before.

Kotone glanced to the side, watching the poker-faced tutor sitting by Kiyone as he taught her to write kanji. She was so concentrated that she didn't even catch Kotone looking at her this time. Her tiny, chubby fingers gripped onto the edges of the book, like she was about to rip it apart any moment. Her eyes were focused on the pages and nothing could tear her gaze away. What an intense memorising session and how typical of her to get so drunk and lost in books. Seriously, the kid was the cutest and the mist intellectual little sister anyone could imagine having. On top of that, despite her mischievous and rather cheeky tendencies, she was a good kid. A better kid than her. A kid that deserved much more than she received credit for.

Kotone's smile hesitated and her hands dropped on to the wooden table with a light tap as her mind drifted to a place where she had avoided visiting.