DADDY ISSUES || J.JK × Reader ✔

chapter 11 | Shame

"I promise."

She lowers her hand to the pillow, gazing at me with grief and almost fear. "I don't like him at all...when the students are not there, he makes me stay with him. He once forced me to touch him...do you remember when you came in the room and asked me what we were doing?"

I answer positively with a movement of my head. "You can't even imagine how happy I was to see you come at that moment...Just some minutes before...I don't know why, but I did what he told me to do...I touched him...but I don't feel any disgust...I just hate him...because I feel like I liked him at the beginning, I thought he cared about me more than the others, I thought I was special to him, or pretty enough for him to be interested in me...I knew it was wrong, but I did not want to see it because I kinda liked it, but...he just wanted to use me sexually and manipulated me...I totally started to hate him once he talked about my father and how my relationship would change once I meet the good man...I couldn't stand him anymore..."

"Did you do it with him...?" her words hurt me the more she's talking, her face expressing all the emotions she's keeping inside. "No, but I feel horrible...and I'm scared to talk about it to my father..."

"Why? Your father loves you...he would—"

"Because I liked it at first...that scares me to know that I liked the way he touched me at the beginning...I feel horrible, this is my fault if he tried more...and I don't want my dad to know that..."

"It's not your fault," I correct her and turn towards her. "The one at fault is him, he's an adult, he shouldn't touch you, make you do it to him. He's a pervert, and your father will never hate you...you're a minor, he's the one who manipulated you to get what he wants. He knew exactly what he was doing...you should not feel bad, you just trusted him."

"I don't understand men..." she sighs and looks down. "Have you never had a boyfriend?" I put my head a bit more properly on the pillow. "Never...I don't want one. I don't trust them. I just trust my father, he's the only one I love. I trust Haneul too, but he's just like a brother to me."

"You never fell in love?" I feel some bewilderment since she told me she already did sexual stuff with some boys. "Never. I feel like I don't let myself fall in love because I know I'll be disappointed or hurt in the end. It's a waste of time."

"So...you don't want to lose your virginity to someone you love?" I dare to ask, even if this is maybe not the perfect timing. "Not necessarily, I'll just do it with a boy if I want to. I'm not the type of girl who will say that a girl has to love someone to have sex, if people are narrow-minded enough to judge the girls who don't want to wait, I'm not...If I want to do it with a boy, I do it. That's my body anyway."

"What happened for you to not want to fall in love...?" I cannot forget the words she said. I never heard that from a girl before. She shrugs.

Something awoke my curiosity today, and maybe I might be thinking wrong, but she has no resemblance to her parents. She doesn't look like them at all, and this is strange to me, but I don't want to bother her with more questions, if she doesn't mention it, that means she doesn't want to talk about it.

"Anyway," she rolls on her back and stretches her body, but at the exact second that I see a small part of her slightly bloated stomach, I tickle it, but she flinches and curls up into a ball while giggling. "Not there. I ate a lot."

"That's cute," I smile but lie down on my back. "What are we to you?" I do not keep it to myself, needing to know before leaving. "What do you think we are?"

"Friends...with benefits? It seems like it..." I give my opinion without being certain. "I knew you would say that, I just consider us as friends who...who have dirty secrets..." she chuckles but makes me grin. "That's because you're a dirty girl who pretends to be innocent."