Skulduggery Pleasant One shots

Animal

This is after Darquesse dies in the dimension of the faceless ones and Valkyrie ends up absorbing her 'Energy' so now Val has some unknown new abilities. In this one shot I haven't killed Ghastly, Anton or Eskerine. In this short story Ravel is not a traitor. :(

——————————————————————————————————————————

Valkyrie's POV:

I shuddered( sorry Anton) my phone rang eerily playing wannabe, a new ring tone that Dexter had snuck onto my phone. I moved towards it suddenly confused as to how everything was so big. I looked down to see black paws. I was a... a ca? Another shudder. I looked down again hands again. 

The next day. Sorry about the time skip

I walked down the corridors of the sanctuary until I was standing in front of Ghastly's office. I started to shudder. I cursed but it turned into a meow. I scratched persistently at the door, creating long scratch marks in its frame. I mewled in despair. Maybe they would hear me. Maybe someone would hear me. I mewled again, luckily Tipstaff came to my aid. I felt like a damsel in distress and mentally cursed. He picked me up and inspected something on my neck. The necklace i had been wearing! It had my name on it!! Hopefully it looked something like a collar. He looked at me again before knocking and opening the door. I jumped out of Tipstaff's arms rushing inside urgently. 

" yes Tipstaff?" Asked Ravel.

"Just this cat, she seemed persistent," he answered nodding at me before I was scooped up into Tanith's warm arms. She scratches me under my chin. I purred insidiously, it was grange but it felt natural. Tip staff left and the Dead Men resumed their conversation.

"Should we start?" Dexter asked.

"What about Valkyrie" said Sarcean 

"5 more minutes " said Ravel.

"She isn't answering her phone" Skulduggery said bewildered. I always answered the phone, well not always. I didn't answer the phone if: I had been kidnapped, I was in the middle of a fight, I was sleeping (alone or not) or eating. Or just the simple one, my phone RAN OUT OF BATTERY! 

I got off Tanith's lap and climbed on the chair that was reserved for me. I meowed for them to continue. They all stared at me all but Skulduggery. 

Skulduggery's POV:

They all stared at the cat. I looked away.

"Come on guys, it's just a cat." I said eager to start the meeting.

"Guys..." i said worried now looking at there wide eyes and open mouths, still staring at the cat. I heard someone clear their throat and I looked over. Where the cat had sat mere moments ago now sat Valkyrie, phone out taking pictures. 

" so the meeting." She prompted. 

"Ah...Yes" Ravel said. I closed my jaw without knowing it had even opened. I hope she hadn't gotten pictures of that. I took a minor wound to my ego which was quickly healed as i thought of everything I had against her...

" The meeting" she repeated.

"Yes we are here to discuss another potential world ending..." 

 One long meeting later

"Hey" she said to me.

"Hello" I replied

" so...' 

" you didn't' tell me you could turn into a cat... How long has this been going on...?" I asked.

"A couple of days" she replied sheepishly. 

" And you didn't tell me because..." 

"You have other things to think about," she said simply.

"Right" I said. 

One week later

Valkyrie's POV:

I had pu a camera in the room before so i could film everything. I had brought Xena along to trick them. The plan was set. I opened the door and she walked in as planned. I took out my phone and Bluetoothed to the camera, watching live. 

"Hello, Valkyrie" they greeted Xena she went and sat on my chair.

"Ok, Valkyrie change back.' Xena barked.

"Ok, Valkyrie is choosing to stubbornly stay as a dog, lets start the meeting." 

I knocked on the door. 

"Tipstaff?" Called Ghastly. I walked in.

"No, sorry I'm late" they stared at me and Xena. I petted her.

" but.. You...Dog...what-?" Stammered Ravel.

"You thought I was Xena?" I questioned or rather interrogated.

"yes they did" Responded Skulduggery

"Not you?" 

"Not me." 

"So you decided to let us look like fools?" Said Ravel

"Indeed"

"And i recorded it" I shouted, holding up my phone triumphantly before I stopped the recording and posted it all over loads of websites in a variety of quick clicks.  

"Delete that right now" demanded Ghastly.

"Not a chance, it is already half way around the world." A convenient ping came from all the Dead Men's phone's in unison. 

"Now or you get fired!"

" No"

"YOUR FIRED VALKYRIE!!" 

" Fine. You wont see a dragon."

"A dragon?" Said dexter.

" Yes, a Dragon."

I turned to Skulduggery  " were there dragons when you were young?" I asked. 

"No. "

"Great."

"SO.. the Dragon" prompted Dexter.

"Nah... We have a meeting. Dragons can wait." I said, Dexter pouted. 

"Ravel? It's your choice."

"Dragons"