An Unforgettable Summer

Chapter Seven

I can feel my eyes slowly fluttering open, followed by small flashes of light. "I must've passed out after the race..." I think subconsciously. And then it hits me. Macey... That must've been a dream. None of that could possibly have happened... right? My eyes open wider as I look around in a room I've never been in before. Unsure of how exactly I sound, I softly, yet with all the strength I seem to have, mumble out the words, "where am I?" 

"Cat! You're in my room, you passed out on the beach and I brought you here to rest..." With those words, I know exactly where I am. Is this his bed? I look up to watch him sit quickly yet gently at the edge of the bed. Why does he have to do everything so perfectly? Pisses me off. Suddenly filled with a strange mixture of disgust and excitement for where I'm laying, I try to sit up to leave. As I do, a sharp pain sears through my skull, making me wince in pain. I watch as Matthew's ocean eyes follow me as I fall back down onto his pillow, too focused on the pain to care that I'm in his bed anymore. "Cat... you need to rest. It's gonna be fine, I'm here for you. Only you.." On those words, we lock eyes. I wish the pain would overpower his hold on me, but in that moment of stillness I feel my pain melt away in his gaze. "Let me get you some water." He says, breaking the moment and walking into the bathroom. I let out a short sigh as the pounding in my head reminds me just how much pain I'm in right now... 

He walks back into the room with a glass of water, and sits next to me to help me sit up and drink it. He rests his hand under my shirt on the small of my lower back, and even though I expect him to move it when I'm settled, he keeps it there. It's the most comfort I've felt since our fallout... breakup... whatever you'd call it. 

"Hey, can I ask you something?" I ask, not sure if it's me or the migraine talking. He nods, looking at me with the same expression on his face as he had on the balcony just a few nights ago... that seems like a lifetime ago. "Why are you helping me? I feel like I'm just gonna cause drama between you and Alexis. I don't wanna ruin a good thing for you just because my life sucks.." I say with a laugh. My life does kinda suck right now.. He glances down at the bed, and I can't tell if he's smiling or thinking. And then, he does the last thing I think he'd do in that moment. He looks up at me, and he hugs me. He hugs me? 

Suddenly, I'm swept up in this hug of conflict. Is this a friendly hug? Did I hit a soft spot for him or something? What is this? All questions running at top speed through my head as the 8-10 second embrace takes place. He lets me go, and takes a deep breath. "To be honest, you're the closest friend I've had in a long time. You see me in all the ways that no one else can, or would. I didn't realize how much you changed me until I lost you, and I guess I didn't realize how much I needed you until I saw you walk up on that beach today... covered in blood. All I could think about was what I'd do if I lost you." He looks into my eyes, deeper than he has in years. "I can't lose you, Catherine. I wish I could tell you why I need you, but I just do. That's all I know." We sit there in silence, I simply don't know what to say. This feels like some freaky dream. I feel like I can hear his heart pounding, his eyes full of tender emotion and a sea of complexities that I just want to dive into. "I don't think you could lose me even if you wanted to, at this point.." I say softly, walking on emotional eggshells as I feel my heart pinging in my chest, reminding me of the day he broke it. I pull my hands away from his as I say, "You broke me, Matthew. And as much as I want to forget that and just start over, I can't." I look down at my hands, stained red and calloused from my anxious picking at them. He places one hand on mine, and uses the other to lift my chin to meet his gaze again. "I can't fix what I did. I know that. But I can promise you I'm not that guy anymore. You've changed me, more than I think you realize. I will never hurt you like that again." A small tear slips down his cheek, and I swiftly wipe it away, resting my hand where the tear was. I miss him. The real him, the honest and vulnerable one who cares about more than just himself. This him. "You can't lose me, you just can't have all of me like you used to. You have to earn my trust back, okay? I think we just need to get to know the new us before we do anything more." I say, taking my hand off his cheek. He nods, and without another word I know we're on the same page. A fresh start, for both of us. Maybe this could work one day...

"And while we're getting to know each other again, you don't have to feel like you can only see me. I don't want to take Alexis from you, if she means something to you. I honestly have no idea cause we haven't talked about it..." I say with a little laugh, trying to relieve the tension. "Honestly, I don't know what I'll do about her. In my mind, you're the only one for me. I'll probably tell her we need to be just friends, thats what feels right." He says, getting up from the bed and pacing in small circles around the room. The only one for him... My migraine hits me again, and I wince in pain. "Get some rest Cat. Our fresh start starts tomorrow. I'll take the floor." With that, I slowly close my eyes again, feeling as peaceful as I can in this moment. Maybe this'll be good for everyone.