SCP-9834: Ghost of an Extinguished World

Tension between two dumbass

"What the fuck!?" Cerberus is getting frustrated. Him and Simon are in his chambers.

"That's what I've been told. If you want to participate in expeditions, you have to perform sexual activities with SCPs." Simon says. 

"Do they not realize how unimportant that research is? Wow! I can stick my dick in people. Fucking scientific breakthrough!" He paces around the room. Simon has to step back to avoid his influence. "I could be out there trying to find a solution to stop another Dark Day from happening. Not making porn material so that the Foundation has something to stick all their fingers in their vagina and have a euphoric ascension!" Simon has to hold her laughter at his vulgar outrage. 

"That's what they stated. Sadly, it is non-negotiable." 

"Then they can fucking make it negotiable!" He punches the wall. Newi is flustered at seeing him extremely distressed. After some time, he calms down. "Sorry. Didn't mean to scream at you."

"It's fine. I understand." Simon comforts him. 

"All right. Since there's no way around this, I'll comply. For now." He sits on the bed. "So who am I committing coitus with?"

"Well, because of the extermination of SCP-106 and the incident with SCP-953, most of them don't want to participate in the experiment with you." 

"Really? I'm not surprised."

"So there are only two that are willing to engage with you." She pulls out two files. "One is SCP-336. The other is...SCP-682." Newi grabs the SCP-682 file and rips it to shred.

"There's your answer. I would rather die than stick my meat into that fucker." 

"...Okay. Then we'll proceed with the arrangements." She jots down on her notebook. "Also, here you go." She hands him an iPhone. "There are obviously restrictions to what you can access, but you can still listen to music or watch cat videos."

"Oh. Thank you. Back in the other Foundation, they never gave me anything to entertain myself. Weird how they're much...nicer here."

"To be honest, I personally requested the item. It's a reward from yesterday's breach."

"Oh Simon. I guess I do have to fuck you after all." She laughs nervously.

"Were you...this open to the other Simon?"

"That's classified." He smirks and walks past her. 

Into the mamacita 

Cerberus casually strolls in SCP-336 containment chamber. The room is relatively normal. A king sized bed, mirror on the wall, a giant stereo with two microphones and a cabinet...He double takes on the stereo.

"Strange. I don't remember that being there." He knows the anomaly behind SCP-336. If a female hears her voice, they become infertile. If it's a male, woo boy. They stay in a coma and develop a tumor in their chest. Said tumor contains random hostile animals morphed together that pop out and only live about a week or two. Which is why he finds it bizzare she has a microphone to sing. Even stranger being two. SCP-336 is nowhere to be found. "Stay on your toes, Newi. Something is off." She materializes behind him, ready for any conflict. Newi sniffs around and looks up the ceiling. 

SCP-336 is being held by an amazonian warrior woman. It has long flowing raven black hair and pale skin like SCP-336. It is wearing a black cloak and her scarlet eyes are glaring down at them. With their presence being known, it drops to the ground and swiftly attacks Newi with a hidden knife underneath the cloak. Luckily, Newi reacts fast enough to parry the assault.