Star Wars: Darkness Rising

Chapter 19: ...But I will always be there for you!

Ahsoka was sat meditating in her quarters, reflecting on what she had done to Ezra. She hadn't expected him to pour his heart out like he had done. The aims of that duel were to teach Ezra to use two lightsabers at once and to see how much it would take for him to try and use the Dark Side against her. Ahsoka had fought Sith, killer cyborgs, but she had no idea how to deal with the emotions of two humans. Both Ezra and Sabine had been teenagers when she first met them, and they were both learning from mentors. Ezra had been learning to be a Jedi from Kanan, Sabine, learning to be a leader under Hera. Ahsoka could see that they had both succeeded, but that meant very little with where they both were now, emotionally. Sabine was struggling with anxiety and abandonment issues, and had been for a long time. Despite things being better between her family, Ahsoka had found out quite quickly when preparing to visit Sabine on Lothal that they still didn't talk as much as Sabine had hoped. Ezra's trauma was more complicated. He had been drawn into a war against an enemy he didn't know how to fight. Ahsoka wasn't an expert, but she could guess that he was suffering from survivors' guilt for being alive when Kanan, and others, had died to save Lothal. Yet in some ways, he had made a much greater sacrifice. Ahsoka knew she should talk to Ezra, try to explain, and to apologize to him. She knew before she heard the voice of Thrawn that she wouldn't be that lucky. "So... you've brought out one Ezra Bridger's darkest secrets... interesting" he said softly. Ahsoka didn't open her eyes, she wasn't going to give Thrawn the satisfaction of looking him in the eye. "And why is that? Because you want to use it against him? Against Sabine? Against anyone of us who refuse to fight your war?" she asked as she meditated. "Its not just my war Commander Tano, its everyone's war. You and Bridger are just pieces in a much larger machine. Do you really believe that I am your enemy?" Thrawn inquired. Ahsoka finally broke off her meditation, opened her eyes, and stood. "I do, whatever alliance Ezra has with you that currently protects you from me, or worse, Sabine Wren, will not last forever!" she warned the Chiss. Thrawn circled her as he spoke. "Even if you and your friends can help us beat the Chiss, there are more threats in the Unknown Regions than you could ever possibly know. Why do you think I ordered the construction of the very ships we stand on now...?" he asked. Ahsoka smiled. "You couldn't have had them constructed alone, so who built them?" she asked, instead of answering Thrawn's own question. "A being, potentially Dathomirian, but she is of little consequence to you..." Thrawn replied. Ahsoka took note of this information, as she did with a lot of information, feeling it would be useful to her later. "Be careful with the games you play Thrawn, otherwise you're going to reveal all of your cards at once... and you'll find I am very patient!" Ahsoka threatened. Unfortunately, Thrawn called her bluff. "Your fight with Ezra Bridger proved otherwise. Isn't it ironic... you try to force him back to the light, only to slip closer to the line between Light and dark..." he taunted her. Ahsoka smiled, and said nothing. "Whatever skill Ezra Bridger has is nothing compared to ours... something which you know." Ahsoka contemplated these words. "So that's what this is about, you really wanted me!" she said. Thrawn grinned, and shook his head. "Hardly, despite your delusions, you are not that important to me. I just recognise that you have your uses before I... cast you out..." he said. Ahsoka didn't let Thrawn's jab affect her. She knew he was trying to make her lash out or become emotional at the reference to her past. "You're not going to., we both know you need all the help you can get!" she said calmly. Thrawn smiled. "Only for now, don't forget that, now please, clean up your mess with Ezra Bridger, otherwise, none of you are useful to me...!" the Chiss stated, and left Ahsoka alone. She sighed, and decided to go and find Ezra.

"What do you mean by that?" asked Ezra when Sabine had spoken those words. Sabine thought for a few moments. "It means that you've been broken for so long, that there's no way to fix yourself" she said. Ezra nodded, seemingly accepting his fate. Sabine sighed softly. "Its hard isn't it? keeping all that in for so long. Ezra nodded. "I thought I could, I thought no one would ever have to know what coming here has cost me!" he said. "I thought the same thing after I left the academy..." Sabine replied. Ezra nodded. "But then you agreed to use the Darksaber... and Kanan beat it out of you" he said. Sabine felt a feeling of bitterness run through her. It was small, and insignificant, but it was there. "Yeah, I never thought I would have to face it" she said, smiling slightly. Ezra sighed. He had no idea what he was supposed to expect, after being alone for so long. Part of him must have thought that things wouldn't have changed when his friends came for him. "Did you ever think that time would just stop? That nothing would change?" he asked. Sabine nodded. "For a while. I thought that while the rest of the galaxy carried on that you, me, Hera, everyone else we knew, would almost just be... frozen in time I guess" she explained. "You?" It was Ezra's turn to nod. "Yeah, but now... well... now I finally realised that the galaxy carried on, and we carried on with it" Ezra said. he finally sat up, feeling better than he had after his duel with Ahsoka, even if not great. His emotions, his feelings, were full of conflict. He had accepted Soa's training in the hopes that he would never have to make another decision like Lothal. Before he could carry on talking with Sabine, Ezra sensed Ahsoka approaching. "I'll catch up in a few minutes" he said to Sabine. She must have noticed him perk up slightly, and so she nodded. "Don't break that promise" she said, and got up, starting to walk across the level to find an elevator.