no going back | nathan mackinnon

0.4

There was no word that could sum up how Y/N had been feeling ever since that night on the swings. She had a lot of anger towards Nathan that was foolish, but knowing that it was silly only made her more angry. In reality she wasn't even mad at him, she was mad at herself for letting her stupid ideas get in the way of what could have been their happiness.

She had to admit that seeing him pace around his bedroom from her own room next door was somewhat comforting. She really had missed being able to see him from her own window- to see the lights on in his room and the beefy hockey player doing something inside.

It was familiar, and in a couple years straight of changes, this was exactly what she needed, even if it was hard to come to terms with that.

Nathan felt a heavy feeling reside in his chest. Watching Y/N hobble back to her house on crutches made him disappointed, but hearing the anguish and pain in her voice was unbearable. He knew that he messed up, but after years of knowing Y/N, he couldn't help but feel like there was more to the story.

He understood that Y/N didn't feel the same romantically towards him, but he didn't think she was the type of girl to let that blow their friendship up. He knew she wasn't. If that really was the case, she wouldn't have come to the airport to say goodbye.

There was something else underneath the surface that had caused their falling out. He just needed to earn her trust back so that she would open up about it.

It was a cloudy Sunday morning when Nathan had finally worked up the courage to talk to Y/N again. He knew that since she wasn't in school at the moment, he could probably find her down at her parent's store. She always picked up extra shifts when possible.

That was exactly where he found her, after parking his car in the lot out front, Nathan walked into the small shop, the bell ringing over his head above the door. Glancing up from a small red notebook, Y/N locked eyes with him. Her chest swelled and she felt herself fill with butterflies.

She cursed herself internally and forced them down. "Did your mum send you to pick up her order?" She asked absently, her hands smoothed over the notebook, its red leather cover beaten and worn, it had certainly seen better days. Y/N always did have a peculiar attachment to things. Little things like notebooks or socks with holes in them, the girl often found trouble parting with.

It was another reason that led Nathan to thinking that she wasn't being completely honest about why their friendship ended. He couldn't believe that Y/N, someone who was so attached to inanimate objects, would throw their friendship of over a decade away like it was nothing.

Surely he could just let it go and blame it on them growing apart, but Nathan loved Y/N. Even though people always said 'if you love something let it go' he didn't believe in that. Even if the latter part was 'if it's meant to be, it will come back'

Nathan nodded, even though he had no idea what she was talking about. "Yeah- Is it ready?" He asked, stuffing his hands into his pockets. The humid air of Nova Scotia clung to his skin, giving his pale skin a dewy complexion. He had grown his scruff out a bit as well, neglecting to get rid of his playoffs bead just yet.

Brushing a strand of hair behind her ear, Y/N hummed. She set the notebook down beside the cash register and reached for her crutches. Her mom had been working beside her since her injury, but she needed to run into town for a few minutes, leaving the daughter to watch the shop on her own. "Its just over here." Y/N told him.

Even if she didn't exactly want to be around Nathan at the moment, she was still going to do her job.

Nathan followed after her, passing the few shelves that definitely hadn't been dusted in a while. He let his eyes glance over the familiar red smock that covered Y/N's torso. She wore a pair of athletic shorts underneath and a grey t-shirt.

"So... How has business been?" He asked. If he could eve just get Y/N talking for a few minutes, then that was one step closer he was to earning her trust back.

Y/N shrugged. "It's steady. Lots of tourists pass through you know... not as many customers as when you lived here." She told him. "There is a new superstore down the street." She told him.

Nathan had noticed the large department store on his way into town, in the back of his mind, he had worried that it would cause competition for the Family and that they might risk losing their neighbourhood shop.

Pointing to the back counter where the mackinnon's basket was, Y/N let out a huff of air. The heat mixed with her lack of mobility was pretty good at taking her energy. "I can't carry it. Cause- you know." She gestured to herself and Nathan flushed.

"Of course." He reached out and took the basket into his arms, walking slowly beside her as they went to the register.

Y/N pressed her lips into a thin line as she sat back down on the stool behind the register. "Yeah so its uhm- It's already prepaid... you can just take it." She shrugged it off.

Chuckling softly, Nathan nodded. "Right- I knew that." He noticed the corners of Y/N's mouth pick up the slightest bit at that. Obviously she had caught onto the fact that he had no idea what he was doing there.

He thought about it for a moment before he continued the conversation. "My dad was going to take the boat down to the lake..." he trailed off. "Maybe you could come?" He suggested.

Y/N furrowed her brows. "Nathan I'm basically crippled, I don't think I could swim if I fell off." She chuckled bashfully.

The corners of Nathan's eyes crinkled as he smiled brightly. "Well, I'll just have to save you then- like you're personal life guard." He reassured her.

He watched as Y/N thought about it. There was a bit of toss and turn in her face. As if she was contemplating the pros and cons. On one hand, she would love to head out on the lake and spend some time o the boat, on the other hand- she didn't know if she was ready to have all those memories flush back to her ad the feelings that came along with Nathan.

It was almost impossible to stay mad at him. But maybe that was a good thing. The whole reason she had told him that she didn't feel the same was because she didn't think he could fit her into his new busy life. But here he was trying to make an effort, maybe she could meet him half way and do the same.

After all, there was nothing wrong with being just friends right?