Plant Kisses On My Scars

always dreaming of you.

Matteo,

Hell Is loving you in my sleep and waking up to someone else. In the hallways of my soul, I still hear your footsteps late at night. I wonder if you're also lying in bed, unable to sleep thinking about me.

I pop up from under the water my ears filled with water causing them to muffle. I lay on my back in the pool looking up at the balcony of your room. I see you but you can't see me. I watch through the glass doors into your room. You're reading a book. I always liked when I caught you reading, how your face would light up when you read something funny, or how when you were reading a romance book your cheeks would blush red once you passed a steamy part. I miss our conversations and our fun little adventures. I miss how we would tease each other, but what I miss the most was the way you made me feel. God damn Eliana you were not easy to leave.

After the night in the rain when I told Eliana I loved her. I decided I needed to figure out what to do. My two choices were I either carry on with the wedding, or I leave Giselle and spend life with Eliana. But I found myself so confused on what to do. Of course, I knew that I loved Eliana and I still do. But I was so scared that my mother would disown me. I began to try and figure out a way to tell my mom about what was going on, but I kept procrastinating as I saw my mom finalizing all the plans for the wedding. As time went on it was getting very close to the wedding day. I felt terrible that I couldn't tell Eliana what was going to happen between us and what I decided to do.

After a while me and Eliana began losing contact, I could tell she was losing hope and getting frustrated because I couldn't bring myself to tell my mom. And here I am now three days before my wedding.

Maybe in another life me and Eliana would have worked out, why did it have to be so damn complicated.

I hear a splash and Giselle appears beside me in the pool. She grabs onto me and wraps her arms around my neck.

"Hello handsome." She says while fluttering her eyelashes.

"Hey." I say back.

She straddles her legs around my waist and begins kissing my neck.

"Giselle, not right now. I'm not in the mood."

"Your never in the mood." She rolls her eyes frustrated.

"Anyways, she continues are you ready for our big day?"

"Yeah, I guess so." I reply."

"We are so going on a shopping spree after all the gifts." She claps in excitement.

Money, money, money. Always about money

"Have I ever told you have the nicest smile."

"Nope."

"You're so boring, well I'm going to go make sure Eliana doesn't forget about our cake."

Damn it I forgot about that.

Giselle leaves the pool and starts walking inside. I hear chatter inside of the house between my mom and Giselle. They have been nonstop planning for the wedding and making sure everything is perfect. They came up with a cherry blossom theme. The Goldstein's castle is already set up for the wedding. I have got to say the wedding venue looks great. Each table has glass chairs and very neat table setting. Cherry blossom trees are all around the castle and string lights hang from the ceiling. Outside the backyard is set up with a dance floor and a stage. Everything is just as planned.

Around noon I sit down in the living room and my mom orders me to pick the wedding song for me and Giselle to dance to. Normally a couple would choose "their song" or a song that reminds them of their love story. But in that case, me and Giselle's song would be "You just want my money" by Jason French, which obviously won't work. So instead, even though it's a terrible thing to do, I think of songs that remind me of Eliana. I come up with three songs, "Mystery of love by Sufjan Stevens, "Like real people do" by Hozier, and "The night we met" by Lord huron. All songs that explain better than words our love.