Our War | Itachi X Reader

"Well, it's not like we were exactly in private."

I awoke with a start, a nightmare being the cause of my unrest. I was quite used to scary thoughts plaguing my mind when I sleep, but tonight was much different.

Where most of my nightmares would consist of my mother and father, tonight it revolved around Itachi. He had killed all of the Uchiha, sparring only Sasuke and I, for no other reason than to test his true power.

It's getting to me, because deep down I know even the kindest people have their own dark side. I've yet to see Itachi's, and a part of me doesn't have any desire to - no matter how curious I become.

I wish I was on good terms with him now more than ever, though we hadn't been friends for long, he had a way of comforting me that no one else held. Something about him made me want to open up, and it terrifies me.

But, because of one simple miscommunication, I can't turn to him. Especially when I need him most. I could have easily explained myself, I could have told the truth. I was scared ; plain and simple. I was scared he would view me as Izumi does, a monster.

In addition, if what Izumi said was true, then who am I to interfere with their relationship? I really have no right. As much as I would like to believe she was lying, I can't help but consider it's the truth. by the way Itachi had handled her. He touched her so gently, and looked at her as if she was fine china. But maybe it's just in his caring nature.

Deciding that sleep is now out of the realm of possibilities, I decided to get up and go on a walk. It's about 2:15 in the morning right now, and the spring breeze was cool against my skin.

Walking down to the Uchiha lake, I sit down on the wooden dock that could definitely use some repairs. Taking my sandals off, I dip my toes into the water, feeling the cold liquid beneath my feet in somewhat soothing.

It's so quiet out here, so peaceful. I've always been one for solitude, I find joy in immersing into my thoughts, and not having to worry about those around me. I think this began as an escape from my father when I was really young, maybe ten. When he had become worse, I liked to sneak out and find quiet places in nature that I could simply be alone with my thoughts at.

Of course when he found out, he had been so angry with me, I was under a twenty four hour surveillance for a month. His "trust" for me had never been the same after that, though I don't think there was much there in the first place.

Loneliness had always been a fond friend of mine. Each of my friends were slowly driven away by my father, until everyone began to grow scared of me. So I stopped talking to people, they wouldn't be scared if I didn't talk right?

But as much as I enjoy being alone, it became quite the hindrance. When I had Matt, I got used to having someone around, someone I could rely on. When he left me, I think it broke me the most. For I had become so accustomed to having him, that when he left the loneliness was anything but a friend. It gnawed at my insides, wanting to be released, to push anyone and anything away.

So, why was it so easy for me to trust Itachi? Why did I feel that I could be vulnerable with him? What is it about him?

I glare at my wet toes, angry with myself for not being able to come up with an answer.

My back straightens when I hear the creaking of wood behind me. Recognizing the chakra, I tightly shut my eyes. Call it a defense mechanism, but I did not want to speak with the man occupying my thoughts.

"What are you doing out here?" His smoothe voice reaches my ears. I choose not to respond, even with the simplest question, I don't know how to provide an answer.

"Y/n?" He speaks again, this time softer. I clench my eyes harder, why is he being so nice to me? Wasn't he upset not even a day ago?

I bring my knees to my chest, and hide my face in them. Go away Itachi, please.