what if merder ended...

~the first time that u kissed me~

~i got this idea from a song and this is like a flash back chapter~

Merdith POV:

i was just left this i could not fell anything i cry so hard in my room i could not breath if derek was there he would of said "mer calm down it ok im here" and rape his arm around me...But he is not here is he i tear up then my alarm went off i was going to work today so i got up and got the kids ready and then we left i got to the hospital and drop the kids off at daycared and i got to work i spend the hole day charting and checking on post op bc i could not stop about im going to be divocering the love of my life well was the love of my life it was crazy to think about it i spent half the day with out seeing derek whitch was good.I could not see him now even though i knew he was some where in the hospital and then 30 minutes later guess who i see... Derek right when i seem him i fell chills go down my spinded and i.Got tears in my eyes and look down and walk past him and i whisperd "i still love u" and then he look back at me and then walk off i ran to the closed on call room and sat on a bed and just cryed and thought "why me" "i still love him to much" "i can lose him" "he problaly think im a disgrace and dose not love me anymore at all" that just hit me hard then i got flash back of are first kiss the first time we met and i could not stop crying it hurt then.Derek walked in and we made eye contarced and then the nexts thing i new he was hugging me then we kissed for about 1 min then i was taking off my cloths so was he to and then after we did u know what for about 15 minutes then he we just laid there for 5 mins in thoughts 5 mins i felt soo safe.But then he stound up and got dressed and said "if u think this well make me chage my mind it won't i have made my mind merdith" and walked out so i was left felling geltie and shame and heart broken...

Derek POV:

i walked up to Mark and said i just had sexs with merdith in a on call room. He look shooked and said "i thought u did not love her anymore and wanted a divored" and i said "i know i dont know what was going on but im still getting a divocred and im sending the paper tonight" and Mark then said "ok but u well reget it" then he walked off then after 5 hours i went back to the house to give merdith the divocred papers i walked in to the kids alseep and mer cleaning i put the papers on the tabel and called her name she look at me and walked over and sat across from me and i said"here are the paper i have alread sighed and i was about to walked out but then she said "de-rek" i look over at her and she was in tears and i said" yes merdith greys" i never use her full name and she said"do u really want thi-s" and i said"yes merdith i do and i neeed the paper i-n 3 d-ays" look at her in tear then walked out i dont know but when i was driving back to Marks house i thought "do i really want this we maybe could of work this out" but then i remind my self why i was doing this but i still felt wired about this but then i got back to derek house and told him about this then we went to bed i slept on the cough.

~i hope u like this chapter it took me a long time but i did it hope u liked bye for now~ :D