Dangerous Affection

Chapter Ten

Joanne was aware that people often took her confident manner – sometimes bordering on bolshie – the wrong way. What they didn’t realise was that it was merely a tool to conceal a multitude of deeply personal fears and anxieties.

She had been a meek child, overshadowed by Carmel, her older, borderline genius sister. Carmel had been the apple of her parents’ eyes, and despite her best efforts, Joanne never really had a chance of getting anywhere close to her sister’s academic achievements.

But Joanne was a bright girl, and she had a real knack for understanding very quickly exactly what made people tick.

At school, she realised that nobody ever noticed a wallflower. The shy, introverted children were left to wilt on the sidelines, whilst the more extrovert personalities stepped into the spotlight – and the teachers’ favour – far more quickly.

She found it easy to assume these beneficial attributes, even though most of the time she battled with low self-esteem and anxiety. She could turn her appropriated personality on and off like a light bulb, and regularly did so to great benefit.

In later life, these qualities and ability combined to make her an astute and effective lawyer, able to build rapport with people from very different walks of life. So much so that she’d often wondered if her real calling should have been to become an actress.

Particularly at times like this, when her knees had turned to jelly and her guts to liquid.

She eyed Shaun coolly, took a breath in and swept past her visitor and up to the building, oozing confidence. In reality, her hand shook as she tried to get the key in the door, and every few beats, her heart bounced out of rhythm inside her chest.

Once inside, she asked him to take a seat while she made some coffee. She wouldn’t usually offer refreshments to an unannounced visitor, but she badly needed some caffeine to try and kick this dreamy feeling of hovering above herself, as if she were watching a stranger.

She pointed out the comfy seats in the reception. He didn’t move over to them right away, so she inched back past him, squashing against the mammoth curve of the reception desk, forcing her close enough to smell his lemony scent and see the shower-damp ends of his hair that curled into his strong, lean neck.

She filled the kettle and spooned coffee into two cups in the small kitchenette. She could hear him whistling and it made her smile.

He was so different to the men she worked with. Like her, they were probably operating with false images too. Suited and booted and using convoluted language to meet the clients’ expectations of what a good lawyer should look and act like.

It was refreshing to meet a man who wasn’t afraid to simply be himself, and act naturally in what for some would be quite an intimidating situation.

She found herself glancing in the small mirror on the wall behind the door, fingers flicking through her expensively highlighted blonde wedge to inject a bit more volume.

She stared at the glass, blotting her lips together, wishing she’d used the more flattering peach shade instead of the plain nude gloss this morning. At least she’d worn her new Armani trouser suit, sharply cut to show off her slim figure at its best.

Get a grip!she hissed silently to herself as she moved back to the counter top.

This was exactly how it had started last time. Six years ago and yet it felt like a lifetime.

She recognised the power of the chemical attraction that manifested itself as a physical, magnetic pull between them.

The thought of how it had all ended before sent a shudder through her bones, and she closed her eyes against it. She’d worked so hard, rebuilt everything around herself, and there was Piper to think about… No. She couldn’t allow their faces to shadow her thoughts for even a second.

But the past was in the past and it faded a little with each and every day. That was all that mattered.

She forced her mind to focus on the job in hand, sloshing a little milk into each cup before carrying the drinks through to reception.

Glancing at the wall clock, she noted it would be at least another twenty minutes before the other staff started to arrive for work. She felt relieved. The other partners would recognise him from yesterday’s event and she didn’t want to raise any eyebrows.

‘Thanks for giving me a chance to explain,’ Shaun said as she handed him a coffee.

Joanne sat down opposite him, purposely perching on the end of a cushion to show her long legs to their best advantage. She was curious as to what he wanted to apologise about.

He took a sip of his coffee and set it down on the low table next to a neat stack of magazines. Then he laced his fingers together and seemed to pause in thought for a few moments, before meeting her enquiring stare.

When he spoke, his voice sounded level and considered.

‘I wanted to make something perfectly clear to you. My wife is Emma Barton. She works as a paralegal here at Walker, Dent and Scott.’

‘Emma?’ Joanne said faintly, as the connection registered. ‘Oh… I see.’

She felt instantly deflated, her chest swelling with huge and unexpected disappointment. Although they hadn’t had much time to chat last night, it should have been one of the first things he’d told her.

Shaun cleared his throat and looked away.

‘I say “my wife”, but we’re not really together any more. It’s… complicated.’

‘It sounds it.’ Joanne put down her own drink, not trusting her slightly shaking hand to keep it from spilling over her new trousers. ‘But no harm done, I suppose. Strange you didn’t mention it, though.’

‘I don’t know why I didn’t,’ he faltered. ‘It must’ve had something to do with the chemistry between us.’

Joanne raised an eyebrow.

‘I know you know what I’m talking about, but I was out of order. That’s why I came in early to see you, to apologise. I didn’t mean to mislead you in any way.’

‘I see.’

A smile spread over his generous mouth.

‘I wondered if you’d let me buy you a coffee after work. You know, to apologise properly.’

‘Thank you, but I couldn’t possibly accept. You’re married to one of my staff.’

‘It’s just a coffee, and I told you, we’re not tog—’

‘Even so. I’m sure you understand it violates certain ethical boundaries for me.’

There was an awkward silence. Both of them could feel the electricity between them. Both of them knew not to mention it.

Eventually finding common ground in chatting about the warm weather that was predicted for the rest of the week, Shaun finished his coffee and left the building.

He turned back at the door.

‘You have my card,’ he said softly. ‘If you change your mind about the coffee, that is.’

She nodded. ‘Bye, Shaun.’

For a few minutes, Joanne sat alone in the pleasant space. The light flooded in through the Velux windows above her head and bounced off the waxy dark green leaves of the potted palms in the corner.

Shaun leaving like that was like the warm glow of the sun on her face suddenly fading.

But it was time to pull herself together. There was work to do.

She stood up and dusted herself down, berating herself for being so ridiculous. She would push this annoying photographer from her mind, and in a day or two, with any luck, she would forget he ever existed.