haikyuu oneshots✨

𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘵 - 𝘵𝘴𝘶𝘬𝘪𝘺𝘢𝘮𝘢

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characters/ship: tsukiyama | tsukishima kei x yamaguchi tadashi
word count: 1082
note: angst week collection day 1 (prompt: longing + "when did it all change?")
type: angst

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"I'm sorry. I can't do this anymore."

He hung his head low to hide his tears, he willed himself not to sniffle or else the stranger on the other side of the screen would hear him. He bit the inside of his cheek to control his tears, he forced the corner of his lips into a smile as he looked back up and said, "It's okay."

The call ended and the screen soon went black. He was staring at his own reflection on the monitor of the computer screen for what seemed like hours until it finally dawned on him. He's gone. When. When did we change. When did this all change? Where did he go?

He couldn't stop his tears. It just kept flowing and flowing, fogging up his glasses and staining his purple shirt. He tried to wipe them away but his tears flowed down his face like a river escaping a broken dam. Gut-wrenching sobs tore through his chest as he slammed a fist on his table, his fist throbbing in pain but the ache in his heart was worse.

There was a picture of them on the corner of his desk. Back when they were still in high school, two innocent teenagers who thought their love could face anything the world throws at them. As long as they're together, they're invincible.

Tsukishima slammed the picture onto the desk, not being able to see his face anymore. He couldn't get him out of his head, his eyes, his hair, his freckles, his smile. God, he loved his smile. And now he can never see his smile again.

He climbed onto bed, curling up under the covers as the tears rolled past the bridge of his nose and staining his pillow. The brightness of his phone blinded him as he scrolled through millions of messages.

"Hey Tsukki! Wanna to grab dessert?"

"Ah I'm sorry Tsukki, running a bit late cause sensei had to meet with me. If you're in a hurry, don't wait up!!!"

"Man practice was tough today. Thank god I'm coming over later."

"Remember to bring a coat! It's cold out! Love you!!"

"Tsukki what are your plans after high school? I wanna go apply for overseas but I'm scared I won't get in >.<"

"God these essays are killing me! Why do universities need to see so many essays T^T"

"I got in!!!!! :DDDDDDD"

"My parents aren't home tonight, wanna come over ;) jkjk but no srsly if you want, come over I miss you D:"

"Tsukiiiii I'm leaving on the 21st next month :(((( Do you wanna hang out before I go?"

"I'm boarding now! I promise to call you when I get there! Don't get a boyfriend when I'm gone >:"

"Ah sorry, I was dying from assignments, can we skype tomorrow pleaseeee, sorry Tsukki :("

"Tsukkii take my call!!!!!"

"Shit sorry I'm out with friends lol i'll call you when I'm home!"

"Are you mad at me?"

"Tsukishima stop blaming your problems on me."

"Do you not trust me that much?"

"Hey Tsukishima can you skype me now? I wanna talk."

The feed on his Instagram showed a picture of him with his friends in the States. He changed. The freckles he loved were no longer showing, he wasn't dressed in hoodies or the clothes he used to wear, instead he was in very revealing clothes. He was smirking at the camera with his arms draped across the people around him. He had a cigarette in his mouth as well as a beer bottle in his hand.

He's gone.

His throat tightened as he let out yet another choked sob. His entire body wracked with an onslaught of sobs and tears as he felt a part of him crumble away, leaving a gaping hole in his heart.

The person he used to joke around with, teasing his teammates and genuinely having fun. The person who gets anxious around people, turning into his own arms for comfort and safety. The person who once said "I love you." Where is he?

The bed beside him was cold, empty. He was so used to seeing him the first thing when he wakes up or falls asleep. But now the emptiness was like a dagger twisting and churning in his chest, reminding him of the person he lost.

He finally got his tears under control, his body was aching. He dragged himself out of the bed and into the bathroom. He stripped down his clothes and got into the shower. The hot water falls on his body like rocks and knives carving on his skin. He wasn't sure what hurt more at this point, his body or his heart.

He stared at the drain. Eleven years of friendship broken so easily like a piece of biscuit shared amongst friends, rushing down the drain.

He stepped out of the shower, didn't even bother wrapping himself in a towel. He was shivering from the cold, drops of water dripping from his damp blonde hair to the floor.

He closed his eyes as he imagined his arms wrapping around his body, warming him up. His eyebrows would furrow together as he ran over and wrapped a towel around his bare body, going off like a concerned mother about how he would catch a cold under this cold weather.

The old him would always make sure he takes care of himself, Texting him at ungodly hours to remind him to "get your cute ass in bed" or to "drink your water!!". Now there are no more texts, no more calls, no more him.

A gust of wind hit his body as he was reminded the warm arms that he once called home were gone forever. No longer his to hold or to caress, no more warm hugs or cuddles waiting for him after a long day of practice, no more hands roaming from his chest, to his stomach, his thighs, making him experience feelings he's never experienced before.

The presence he longed for will no longer be his again.

His tears dried as he sat on the edge of the bed, staring into the dull, white wall. It started raining outside, the gentle rain tapping on the window was the only sound filling up the room.

A part of him was clinging onto the slight bit of hope that some part of him would stay, maybe a call or a text saying he's back and will be forever his again. But nothing.

His Tadashi is gone.

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