haikyuu oneshots✨

𝘴𝘶𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘮𝘢𝘯 - 𝘴𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘮𝘶𝘳𝘢 𝘥𝘢𝘪𝘤𝘩𝘪

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characters/ship: sawamura daichi
word count: 2581
type: angst?
note: i wrote an alternate ending for this so do check it out and comment which one you liked more :D

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"Sawamura-kun, what do you want to be when you grow up?" The teacher asked and Daichi hopped up from his seat and ran to the front of the classroom.

In his hand was a cape, the infamous blue shade with the big S on top. Daichi proudly tied the fabric around his neck, with some help from the teacher of course, before saying, "I'm gonna be Superman when I grow up!"

"Superman? Why do you wanna be Superman, Sawamura?"

"Because I wanna help everyone!"

Of course, Daichi soon realized Superman was merely a fictional character, created to fuel the movie industry's white savior and to boost the economy. Superman wasn't real, but that didn't stop him from his dream.

He just didn't realize at the time, that it was harder than he thought it would be.

The first time he realized  was when he was 8. He was standing next to his mom, an opened letter on the table and a piece of paper in her hand as his mother broke into wrenching sobs, crumbling onto the floor as she gripped her heart and wailed.

His father is never coming home, M.I.A. was what was written in the letter.. That's just a pretty word for "he's never coming back".

The soldier knelt down next to Daichi, looking at his mother, still sobbing uncontrollably on the floor as she clutched the metal tag close to her heart, and he ruffled Daichi's hair.

"You're the man in this house now."

The soldier soon left, leaving Daichi and his mother alone in the empty wooden house. his mother's tears didn't seem to plan on stopping, but the house was eerily silent. Daichi placed a hand on his mother's back, rubbing as his mother's tears continued to stream down his mother's face. Daichi could still remember her face that day. The way she heaved as she coughed, catching her breath before her lips quivered once again and fell into sobs, her eyes red and puffy from hours and hours of crying.

Daichi felt useless. There was a hole in his heart, not from the news, but from the fact he didn't do anything. Nothing. He couldn't do anything. How could he? He was only 8.

Why can't I be the one who saves dad.

He was powerless. The world he held so tightly in his hands slipping away, like sand on a beach, the grains prickling his skin as they found escape through the gaps of his fingers. And he couldn't do anything about it but watch them slip through his fingers and fall on the beach without a sound.

The waves crash onto the shore, drawing the sand along, returning the grains back into the ocean. You can claw at the sand how you want, beg the gods of the sea to bring them back but the waves will still take them away.

And Daichi despised that feeling.

The helplessness of not being in control.

It was on the news one day. A kid from his school took his life, their principal made an announcement at assembly in the following morning. Everyone was silent. The entire school gathered under the sun, standing in lines but no one dared to make a sound.

Daichi didn't know this kid. They weren't even in his year but somehow, he felt responsible. Like he was supposed to do something, something to elevate the pain enough for the kid to reconsider staying.

It haunted him, the feeling. He couldn't fall asleep that week, or it was waking up multiple times in the middle of the night. The guilt he carried for not saving someone he barely knew. Maybe he could've done something. He knew he shouldn't have felt this way, there was no reason to, but somehow it was eating him alive.