Shades of Red

Chapter 7

I kissed Emily right there in front of everyone. I didn't care who saw. She was alive and right here in my arms. I couldn't imagine letting her go. The whole world stood still, and it was only us. I finally loosened my grip on her. "I thought you were going to die in there, Em." I ran my hands through her hair, put my hand on her cheek. She leaned into my touch. "You know what kept me hopeful in there? You, Meredith. The thought of never seeing you again was unbearable. I knew I had to get out." Suddenly I felt eyes burning into the back of my head. Emily must have felt it to. "Looks like we have an audience," she said spinning me around. The whole team was watching us. Hotch stood there expressions-less. Shaking his head, he walked away from us. The rest of the team clearly felt differently than our fearless leader. Derek, Spencer, and Rossi made their way over to us. "So who won that $100?" Rossi asked. "That would be Garcia," replied Morgan. Of course the team had their suspicions about us. After all, we are all skillfully trained profilers.

We returned to Quantico around 2pm. Now that my relationship with Emily was out in the open, I couldn't help but wonder what fresh hell awaited us with Hotch. Just as I suspected, as soon as we entered the building Hotch had pulled Emily and I into his office. His disapproval of us was written all over his face. "Ladies, not only have you been keeping secrets and lying to all of us; you are very clearly breaking policy." I looked over at Emily. She opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. She glanced at me for direction. "Listen Sir, none of this was planned. We--". Hotch put his hand up to cut me off. "Do you understand want a relationship within the team could do? How will you keep your composure when one of you is put in danger? Meredith, you barely kept it together for this case. What if this doesn't work out? We cannot afford to lose either of you. You are both very valuable to this team." Silence crept in around us, sucking all of the air out of the room. "Do you love each other?" Hotch asked us, though neither of us had an answer. Well, I certainly didn't yet. Without a beat, Emily answered, "Yes! Yes, Hotch; I love Meredith. We will do whatever it takes to make this work." Emily looked over to me. She was looking for me to say something, anything. But I didn't have the words, and I certainly was taken by surprise. "I will speak with Strauss. If she disapproves, then it's over my head ladies. You will either have to end the relationship, or one of you will have to be transfered."

We stepped out of Aaron's office, and it was all eyes on us. "So which one of you is the man, and which one is the woman?" Derek asked the most sterotypical question out there. I rolled my eyes directly at him. "You know both of us are women, Morgan. That's the beauty, no men." Reid smirked the slightest bit at my remark. "Actually Morgan, she's right. Queer women date women so they don't have to deal with men. Thus, why they are attracted to women." Emily slipped her hand in my back pocket. This caught the attention of JJ. She huffed a little, and walked away from the conversation. JJ did not seem to like the thought of Emily and I. But why?

Later that night Emily and I were huddled on the couch together watching a movie. I couldn't stop thinking about JJ, and her reaction to us. There was something going on there, and I needed to know what it was. "Emily, have you noticed JJ acting a little strange? She doesn't seem to be handling us dating well." She let out a big breath. "Things are complicated with JJ and me. But she's made her choices, and I've made mine." Crypict much, I thought. "So I'm not crazy, there was something between the two of you." I could tell Emily was hesitant to answer my questions. Hell, I was hesitent to ask them. But I needed to know, so I kept digging. "No one knows this, Mer. Promise me that this conversation will stay between us." Of course I would never tell anyone Emily's private infomation. I nodded my head in agreement, and braced myself for what I was about to hear. "When I first joined the team, I fell head over heels for JJ. But I never knew if that feeling was mutual, or if she could even ever see me that way. One night, on a case, I kissed JJ; and she kissed me back. We had sex, and then never spoke of it again. We would still have little intimate moments here and there, on a case, in the office, at girls' night." Emily paused. She started to pick at her fingernails, a sign she was stressed. But she started sharing again anyway. "We were on a case in Florida, Will's partner had been killed when he was on vacation. We had met Will the previous year on a case in New Orleans. I could tell something was going on with the two of them, so I made comments about him trying to get it out of her. When the case was over, we were at the local station closing things up, and Will was there. I told JJ to go for him, and she did. That was the end of it. She chose him, and pretended like we never happened." Emily was in love with JJ, there it was. I didn't know what I was expecting, but that wasn't it. I dissociated for, i don't know how long, to process what she had just shared with me. She reached out and grabbed my hand, and pulled my face so I was looking directly at her. "Tell me what you're thinking," she said. I leaned in and kissed her. "I'm glad you told me, Emily. Do you still have feelings for her?" She answered me without hesitation, without any thought. "No, I love you, Meredith. JJ chose Will, and I'm chosing you. I will always chose you. I need you to beleive that." Just then my phone rang, Garcia. "Hey Penelope," I said as I answered the phone. "We are going out," she said matter of factly. I was drained, emotionally and physically. I looked to Em and mouthed "bar" to her. Surprisingly enough she wanted to go. "Alright Garcia, pick us up in an hour.