Drying in the rain

The Interrogation

"It is better to risk saving a guilty person than to condemn an innocent one." ~ Voltaire

November 12 1981

"You swore you would protect her! You said you would keep her safe!" Cried Severus as he sat within Dumbledore's fantastical office. His Phoenix sat calmly on his perch, presiding over the interrogation. Albus had many different things within his office, paintings of old wizards and witches from centuries ago up to the present, each as lively as the other. He had a plethora of greenery as well, elk horn ivy draping over his gigantic bookcases. In fact the cases towered over up to the cloud hugging ceiling. Snape had been within this room before, often times for the worse and so he was accustomed to its design, but he was not accustomed to its new onset of sadness. It hadn't yet occurred to him that this sadness was not infested within the castle or the streets he roamed or his home at spinners end, though of course it carried its great share of turmoil, but that this sadness was infested in him.
"Lily and James put their faith in the wrong person Severus, rather like you, there was nothing that could have been done." Said Dumbledore seriously, his eyes sorrowful but not like that of Snapes.
"I held her body within my arms, I was so near to saving her! God if I had just been a few moments sooner!"
"And defeated Voldemort yourself? Severus even if you had been there, you could not have done anything. I am sorry."
"It's too late to apologize Albus, to me, to Lily, god even to her child!" Shouted Snape with frustration followed by an old familiar burning sensation within his tightly closed throat.
"The boy survives."
"He doesn't need protection the dark lord is gone!" Protested Snape, his head hung low to the ground. "The dark lord will return and when he does the boy will be in terrible danger! He has her eyes." Snape looked up from dumbledores words, the eyes he had loved for so long. His face meeting the headmasters with an ominous tone.
"No. No. Don't you dare."
"If you truly loved her.." Began Dumbledore as snapes grief stricken heart crumbled by the weight of his guilt.
"How dare you question my love for her..." a long pause of silence evaded the two from speaking. "No one can know." Said Snape, his finger pointing with a painful dictation.
"The world will not know the best of you servers I will be sure of that."
"I have already fallen from the world. There is nothing, nothing that can justify what I have done." His eyes squinted as his face contorted, scrunching up as if he were on the verge of tears.
"You may have flown too close to the sun but at least your fall will be well planned." Assured the headmaster, reaching over his desk to console his newest asset. "Hogwarts very own icarus will not burn in vain. I will clear your name, and I will hire you as a member of our staff but you will be my agent. You know of the prophecy. He will return, and when he does I will need you."
"My name? My name?" Roared Severus, rising up. "Restore the love of my life! Bring her back to me! You think I give a damn about my name? My honor? My position? Everything was because of her everything I will ever do will be for her! My name means nothing to me!"
"But it means everything to the safety of our world!" Dumbledore's previous calm vanished into a stern manner.
"Do it not for me but for Lily. Everything, for her. Always."
"Of course Severus. Of course. I will instate you as the new Hogwarts potions Professor, you always had an affinity for the art." Proclaimed Albus as he stood in front of the disheveled man.
"When the time comes, that the dark lord return, what will you have of me." Questioned Snape, his voice weary with fear.
"You will do everything I say, to protect the boy and this very school. If all goes well, he will never know of your betrayal. You must remain close with the Malfoys, Blacks, Lestranges, Carrows, greyback, Macnair, Dolohov, all of them." Ordered Albus, snapes face fell.
"I have made only wrong decisions, I have ruined everything!"
"You followed great evil yes, but clearly that does not mean you are evil yourself. You must forgive yourself."
"No. No. I must live with this burden for the rest of my life. I must exist to be a warning, never to side with darkness." He whispered, turning away from the headmaster and towards the magnificent door outside.
"Goodness always prevails, even after the darkest winters spring still comes. There will come a moment I assure you, where you will be given another chance. Use it wisely..." warned the headmaster, making his way back to his desk. "Severus." He called out, snapes head turned solemnly over. "Do not douse the warmth in your heart, you have allowed many others to do so, but do not let yourself do the same. I am terribly sorry for your loss."
"Good night headmaster." Replied Snape, retreating from the light in the halls, the sun, the brightness and sinking down into the reclusive emerald of the cold, lonely and forgotten dungeons, to which he would ever really emerge from again, no one knew.