Drying in the rain

Slow Hands

"The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him." ~ G.K. Chesterton

She ran as fast and as far away from Moody as she could, it was her last class, it didn't matter where she was. Moody knew what she had done to Severus, and he knew Severus had somehow forgave her, the question was why. She looked up to the stone ceiling, the carvings of students past etched within the beams of wood holding the heavy walls together.
It was subconscious the way her feet carried her to Severus, they just moved, locked themselves up and down carrying her to him. She knew eventually as she entered the dungeons where she was going.
"Sev?" She whispered as she reentered his office, a frown on her face as she knew she'd been tricked.
"Anna." He responded his tongue sharp as a dagger, she sighed as she closed the door behind her.
"Moody knows what Evan and I did, he knows Evan was a murderer and that I tortured you."
"What are you talking about?" He raised his eyebrows in confusion.
"Just trust me. He knows. He knows everything."
"I'm sure he doesn't, the only ones that do are you and I. Don't worry so much, you now have more than enough on your plate."
"Severus you don't understand, I would not be able to live without you. I had to do it, because if I hadn't I wouldn't have you."
"He will kill me eventually Anna, the sooner you realize that the better."
"So you just gave up? Is now really the time? Like you said the world is about to change, maybe we can defeat Voldemort."
"How do you suggest we do that?" He hissed. Gulping loudly he continued. "Just for this one moment pretend none of it exists. It's much past the time that I should've taught you the waltz."
"How am I supposed to forget that?"
"Just don't speak." He whispered as he moved in closer, his hand grabbing her waist as the other wrapped itself around her neck. "Follow my footsteps, we want to move like a wave, fluidly." He held her tight to his chest, he knew neither of them could pretend the world was not on fire, but perhaps in this instance his slow hands could fix that. His corridors were always blanketed in such a darkness, one that neither could escape. In truth darkness made them both up, the light Anna had possessed when she had first arrived at Hogwarts had dimmed, and Severus couldn't catch his breath because he knew it was his fault. Like a gruesome smothering of smoke, choking on every word and every second they had left. Severus knew his time was limited, he knew what his life had become, but if he could do one more good thing, if he could make her smile one more time, that would be enough.
Slowly he pulled out his wand, casting his spell the shade vanished as beams of sunlight fell from the ceiling above them. He watched as her eyes absorbed the falling stars, her mouth rose upwards into a grin as he regained his grip of her.
"I didn't know you had that in you." She smiled, creeping up on his feet he lifted her up onto his shoes.
"Only for you Anna." His hand gracefully stroked her waist as he spun her about the room. There wasn't much space, nor much space between them, but nonetheless they swayed like a leaf floating downstream. "Tell me, do you still fear me?" He asked as the lights began to fade.
"No. Not anymore. Should I be?"
"No, I wouldn't hurt you, never."
"You have before...." Her mind retraced back to his devilish hands wrapped around her neck.
"You have hurt me as well."
"Do you think that is all we'll ever do? Hurt each other?" She paused. "It's not healthy, this obsession."
"Obsession? Is that what you think this is?"
"No, no, what I mean is that.... I don't think I'll ever recover from you. It was never supposed to be like this."
"Well what is this to you?"
"Insanity." She replied as she placed her hand up to his worn face. She had never felt his cheek like this before, a caress of softness drawn up within the lines of pain. "I found love right in front of me, and through all this time and chaos I think you've found love too."
"You know my time is short, I have nothing to offer you." His voice cracked as her fingertips gently traced his face.
"All I ever need or want, all I will ever know and love is you. I shouldn't have waited so long, you deserved to know." The lights had diminished into a somber haze, like a candle fighting to stay a flame. He stopped moving, his rose within his arms he had not calculated this.
"No one can know...." His lips trembled as she took his hair into her hands.
"Just promise me with everything you are that you will not stop fighting to live." She took his hands into hers. "You are my oxygen Severus, I need you." He felt a rush of sorrow fill his callous eyes.
Suddenly she began to feel a slight tingle within her fingertips, a sensation she had never felt before, soon enough her hands and arms grew numb as did her legs and feet. She began to breathe heavier, without noticing her mind focused in on the idea that something was wrong. But she had no idea what. Panic overflowed her body as every sense became subject to the fear of the fear. Her throat began to close as her tongue swelled forcing her to swallow repeatedly until her heart began to beat faster and faster, her eyes filled with tears as the palpitations grew in their severity.
"Severus?" She sounded as if she were whining by how closed off her throat was.
"What?" He replied as he began to sense that something was very wrong.
"I think I'm dying." She whispered as her tears flooded down her face and neck.
"What? What do you mean?"
"My body is tingling and my heart is too fast and I can't breathe oh my god! Oh my god what is happening to me!" She cried as Severus slowly exhaled realizing exactly what it was.
"Hey, hey calm down, you won't believe me when I tell you this but it's a panic attack, you are not dying I promise you." She shook her head. "Anna listen to me you are safe here." He took her into his arms, cradling her terrified body as she rested her shaking head onto his chest.
"You promise? Because I don't want to die, not after everything I've done to live."
"Anna I promise you." He took her into his arms, scooping her up he carried her to his bed, she deserved it more than he did.
"I'm sorry."
"You have nothing to be sorry for."
"Will you stay? Until I fall asleep?" She questioned as he placed his blanket over her shaking body.
"Of course. Just rest little one, I will be right here."