The Allure of Darkness

Deal

Rosie's Coffee Shoppe [August 26th]

This was not going well, Lily Potter mused to herself as she sat across the table from her son. She wasn't sure what she could say to make this situation any better. How was one supposed to apologize for abandoning their own child? It wasn't as though she could waltz back into his life and expect nothing to have changed. "Sorry" didn't even begin to cover the years of regret and self-loathing she'd faced since she had left her son on that doorstep. She knew it was going to be difficult.

But still, an apology wouldn't hurt.

She stared at her son, who had been alternating between avoiding her gaze, and also shooting her the coldest glares she'd ever received.

Lily sighed, folding her hands in her lap, "I'm sorry, Harry."

"It's Hadrian," He snapped at her, "Hadrian Riddle."

She bristled at his words, "Fine, Hadrian. Despite the fact that you changed your name, you're still my son. And I wanted to tell you how sorry I am for what I did."

"I am not your son," He hissed at her, "You lost the right to call me that long before you even subjected me to a life with your idiot sister and her troll of a husband."

Her cheeks colored with shame and she dropped her eyes down to her hands. "I know I wasn't the best mother," She murmured, "But I still loved you."

Hadrian snorted and Lily hurried to add, "Har-Hadrian, you don't understand. It was a different world back then. I was a new mother in a time where You-Know-Who was just gaining power. There wasn't a night that went by that I didn't have nightmares of him hurting our family."

"So what?" He sneered at her, "You just decided to hurt me before he could?"

Lily shook her head, "It wasn't like that. I was terrified, Hadrian," Her bright green eyes stared at him pleadingly, and he shifted uncomfortably in his seat, "When I found out one of my sons could save the entire world from this constant fear, this constant chaos, I refused. James didn't hesitate to promise your brot– Alexander–to the Order, but I fought back. It was selfish of me, but I didn't want to put either of my sons in that kind of danger. The rest of the world be damned."

"And yet, here we are," Hadrian remarked, "Alexander got all the glory and I got locked into a cupboard under the stairs for even speaking about magic at your sister's house."

Lily covered her mouth in horror, "She did what?"

He rolled his eyes, "Don't tell me you honestly thought Aunt Petunia would treat me as her own. The woman hated all things magical, including you. She treated me like some kind of slave."

"I-I didn't know–"

"Of course, you didn't," He mocked, "You never even visited me. How could you know when you didn't even care?"

Lily's hands shook as she wrapped them around the cup of coffee in front of her, though it had lost its warmth a long time ago. "I wasn't allowed to visit you," She whispered, "They told me it would be harder for you to adjust to your new life if I saw you all the time."

"And you believed them?"

"I believed anything back then," She admitted softly, "James finally managed to convince me to let Alexander be used as some kind of weapon for the Order, but when he told me we had to abandon you at my sister's, I tried to stand my ground. I wouldn't let him take you away."

Lily closed her eyes, "But fear is a powerful feeling. It can make us do the stupidest things. It was only when Dumbledore told me I was risking the entire fate of the wizarding world if I didn't focus completely on Alexander that I reluctantly backed down. He told me I'd be killing you both if I didn't devote my life to making sure Alexander was the strongest he could be."