Eleven Months [A Bensler Fan Fic]

Thirty

Olivia was washing dishes after dinner, when Nick came in to see her. He stared to dry off the dishes and stacked them, before starting to talk to his partner.

"So, you and Stabler are having another kid." Nick spoke, and Olivia smiled as she nodded.

"Yup, another little girl. Nick, I'm sorry that I couldn't tell you earlier."

"Don't apologize, Liv. I get it that you have to be super careful after the fall."

"We didn't even know if it would happen, Nick. And when we found out that I was pregnant, we couldn't be more happy..." Olivia trailed off because she was starting to get a bit emotional.

"Well, congratulations. I promise to spoil this kid." Nick smiled. He leaned down and kissed the top of Olivia's head before starting to put away the dishes he had dried and stacked.

"Nick, I haven't told Elliot yet... but I might quit." Olivia whispered as she turned and looked at her partner.

"Huh?" Nick asked, as he stopped in his spot and stared at Olivia. They were very close and got to know each other, so thinking about her leaving really made Nick disappointed.

"I'm thinking about Amy and Julia, and I'd love to be around for them at all times. And we want to try again not long after Julia is born and once we get used to having two kids. And even if we have gotten over our problems, I still want you to be the detective you haven't been for the almost full year we have been partners."

"Don't quit, Liv. Please. I don't want to have to get used to another partner. And who even says they will get me another partner. I might have to just chill at the precinct without your company." Nick frowned.

"I haven't decided yet, and I still want to talk to Elliot about it. Don't get worked up yet, especially since nothing is set in stone yet."

///

After putting Amy to bed that night, Elliot joined his wife in bed. He pulled her close and ran his fingers over her belly as he told her over and over again that he loved her and was so thankful for her.

"Did you do something wrong or is this the beer talking?" Olivia chuckled, as Elliot settled his head against her shoulder.

"I might be a little buzzed... but I'm just happy too. Today was a lot of fun and I'm glad that everyone took our news so well." Elliot smiled.

"It was a lot of fun. And when you are less buzzed, we need to talk. Okay?"

"About what?" Elliot yawned, as he kept his arms wrapped around Olivia's body.

"I'm thinking about Julia and Amy."

"What about them?" Elliot yawned again, before kissing his wife's shoulder.

"I'm thinking about how much I'll miss if I keep working the same hours I'm working now. I missed a lot with Amy, and I don't want to make the same mistakes with Julia that I made with Amy."

"So what is this then? Is this you telling me you want to quit? Or like cut back your hours?" Elliot asked, as he sat up and looked down at his wife. Olivia shrugged as she hesitantly reached up and caressed his cheek.

"I'd love to be a stay at home mom... I just don't know if I could do that... if that makes any sense." Olivia sighed.

"Honey, maybe start with cutting your hours down. Sometimes we don't even need you at work because we don't have a case."

"I wish you guys needed me more often." Olivia grumbled as tears burned her eyes.

"Babe, I need you all the time. And the kids need you."

"El, I used to be an amazing detective. I used to be Cragen's go to whenever he needed someone to go talk to children and rape victims. But now all I can do is work from the precinct and occasionally interrogate perps, but not that often." Olivia sighed, as he tried to get out of bed, but her husband stopped her.

"Liv, we all still need you. So please don't give up. I know that you keep going through this all, but stop beating yourself up because you are just as good, if not better, than you were before the accident. I promise."

"If I decide to leave for the sake of Amy and Julia, will you be okay with it? Support me?" Olivia mused, and Elliot nodded.

"Of course, baby. I will support you no matter what. I promise."

///

Olivia took the weekend to think, and she decided that she wanted to cut back her hours a bit. Even if she was in a chair, she was still exhausted by the end of the day. She didn't want her exhaustion to hurt Julia at all, especially since it was so hard to conceive her.

"John?" Olivia asked, after knocking on the partially open door. John looked up from his desk before nodding to his detective.

"Yes, Olivia?"

"Can we talk?"

"It really depends on what we are going to be talking about." John replied.

"Well, it's about my hours... and I was wondering if I could cut them back a bit?"

"Why?" John questioned, because he felt like he might be losing his favorite detective to motherhood.

"If you don't think it can happen, you can just tell me that. I'm not going to fight you, sir. I get that I have been all over the place." Olivia frowned.

"Why do you want to cut back your hours? Because I need a real reason." 

"Nevermind, sir." Olivia sighed. She turned around slowly before leaving her commanding officer's office.

///

Olivia was upset all day. She didn't even tell John her reason to wanting to cut back her hours, and he already made it seem like she wouldn't be able to give him a real reason. And she honestly was glad by the end of the day that she didn't cut her hours back, because as she was pulling her jacket on, her name was spoken.

"Olivia."

Olivia looked over her shoulder before swallowing hard when she saw Fin standing there.

"Fin?"

"Uh, is Munch in his office? I need to talk to him." Fin breathed awkwardly as he avoided looking down at Olivia's chair.

"He is... what's up?" Olivia questioned.

"I'll tell you later. I'll see you later."

Olivia watched as Fin walked into John's office before shutting the door. And she was wondering if maybe this was Fin's attempt of coming back to SVU.