Eleven Months [A Bensler Fan Fic]

Five

While Olivia was trying to deal with her pregnancy and deal with the idea of being a single mother, Elliot was still grieving like crazy back in Manhattan.

"Stabler." Cragen spoke, as he shook his detective awake. Elliot had been sleeping at his desk for the last few weeks because he was too scared to go home. He didn't want anyone to change Olivia's desk while he was away. If anyone did touch anything on Olivia's desk, even a pen, Elliot bitched them out.

"What?" Elliot grumbled, as he sat up slowly and looked at his boss.

"I know that you don't want to go home, but-"

"I'm not going to my apartment." Elliot replied quickly, as he stood and stretched.

"And why not?" Cragen sighed. He knew that he had to be understanding, but he was getting sick and tired of Elliot yelling all the time or refusing to go home.

"Because it smells like Olivia." Elliot replied quickly, as he moved towards the coffee pots. He started to make a fresh pot, as Cragen stood beside him.

"It smells like Olivia?" He questioned, shocked.

"Yeah, Captain. I was fucking Olivia." Elliot laughed bitterly.

Cragen frowned deeply before sighing softly.

"That explains the fight."

"Cap-"

"The fight that sent Olivia into the hallway and to her death." Cragen grumbled before quickly turning and leaving the squadroom.

He was pissed off now, and he didn't know if he'd ever feel better about what had happened between his detectives.

///

Elliot decided to leave the precinct, but instead of going home he want to the cop bar that he and Olivia started their complicated relationship. He could remember sitting there and watching as Olivia traced a scratch on the table. 

"What are you thinking about?" Elliot asked softly, as he reached across the table and grabbed Olivia's hand. She sighed before lifting her eyes and looking at Elliot.

"The case... I was thinking about the kids and how they don't have parents anymore... God, Elliot I would take those kids in a heartbeat if I could, but with being a detective... I don't think that I'll ever have a family." Olivia frowned.

"You are worrying over something you don't need to worry about, Liv. You are only thirty. You have years to plan a family and fall in love with someone."

"Elliot, I turn thirty-one in a few months. All I can think about is that it's one more year where I don't have a family." Olivia frowned deeply. She finished her beer before standing and swaying a bit. Elliot quickly stood and wrapped his arm around her waist before eyeing her quietly.

"Olivia, you need to relax." Elliot spoke, before leaning forward and pressing a kiss to her lips. Elliot expected Olivia to push him away and beat the shit out of him, but instead Elliot felt Olivia kiss him back.

Their lips parted, and Olivia looked at Elliot for a moment before grabbing his hand and tugging him towards the bathroom. She shoved him into the bathroom before shutting the door and locking it behind them.

"Benson-"

"Elliot, I'm going to fuck you right now. I may be drunk, but I am going to fuck you in this bathroom and either you can participate or... Or I guess I'll go home and sleep."

"I'm not going to say no to you, Liv. I don't think that I ever could."

///

"What are you thinking about, Liv?" Alex asked softly, as she and Olivia went shopping at the local mall. At twelve weeks along, Olivia was starting to gain more weight and her pants were causing her the most trouble.

"It's Maggie." Olivia whispered, and Alex frowned before nodding.

"Maggie, what are you thinking about?"

"Currently... I'm thinking about Elliot."

"How did that even start?" Alex mused, as she looked at a shirt.

"I got drunk after a case and we did it in the bar bathroom... I was being very forceful, and he kept saying that he'd never say no to me... Alex, I loved him. I love him. All I can think about is our child never being able to meet Elliot. Like, my heart is going to break every single time I look at my son... or daughter because I'm sure that they are going to get Elliot's blue eyes." Olivia frowned.

"Do you think it's going to be a boy?" Alex asked, as she stopped and looked at her only friend. After each of them were 'killed' it was so hard to make friends when you never know if you'd have to leave them.

"I kinda hope that the baby is a boy... I'm going to name him after Elliot..."

"Like the world needs another Elliot." Alex teased, and Olivia rolled her eyes as she moved towards where the pants were. She stopped for a moment before turning and looking at Alex.

"Do you think that I'd be able to sneak something to him?" Olivia whispered, and Alex shook her head.

"No, L... No, Maggie. It's dangerous. Now, what about dresses? You really need to look more like a bank teller and less of a cop." Alex spoke, whispering the last part. 

"I don't like dresses."

"You might not like them, but you look good in them. Now, let's make you into Maggie."

///

Elliot went into work the next morning after spending his night in his truck. He was moving up the front stairs, when Casey spoke his name. Elliot swallowed hard because he knew he'd get bitched out by Casey. Again.

"How can I help you, ADA Novak?" Elliot sighed.

"I went over to Olivia's apartment last night to clean things up... and the building owner said that you were now renting Olivia's apartment." Casey spoke.

"So?" Elliot sighed.

"Her desk is a shrine and now her apartment is too?" Casey spat.

"I have the money to rent it and I want Olivia's apartment to stay the way it is."

"You have a sick obession with her, Elliot. She's dead. She's never coming back and it's your fucking fault. All she wanted was for you to love her!"

"I do love her! I always will and I'll never be happy because of what I did!" Elliot yelled back.

"I recommended that my boss put a warrant out for your arrest." Casey spoke, as she crossed her arms over her chest.

"What?!" Elliot exclaimed.

"The shooter should be charged, but you should too. It's like you assisted in her death."