Inferno // dreamnotfound

e l e v e n

TW: panic attack

George was dismissing his class for the day when his phone buzzed with a message. He peered over at it on the desk, almost hoping it was Clay, even though he was very frustrated with him at that moment. It was.

George had a setting on his phone that meant that notifications would just read 'you have x notifications' (x being a number). He had this just in case a student was to see anything on his phone. Subsequently, he was curious. He felt a wash of happiness just at the fact Clay had remembered him but tried to push it away to keep up his annoyance. He didn't even know what the message said. What if he is saying he's not interested? What if something terrible happened? Is Clay ok? Is he even gay? Is he just telling me not to get the right idea?

George started inhaling and exhaling much faster. Who would be there for me if he needed to talk about- Oh god... that... what do I- George gripped the desk as he choked on air he was barely breathing. George didn't know what to do. His mind was racing over anything that came to it and he couldn't stop it. His breathing increased more and he felt his hands clam up so much he started slipping on the desk. What would Clay do- what did Clay do?

George just spluttered his breaths out as evenly as he could, which was not much. In, out, in, out. Yeah, that's it. George continued breathing shakily until he could focus on- well- anything. George thought it would probably be a better idea to check what Clay had actually sent him before spiralling again, though he trembled as he picked up his phone and swiped.

Clay 🥵🥺
I promise I care. I care so much but I've been away from my phone and preoccupied. When I came to see you the other week I cared just as much as I do now and I would do it again even if I were to get arrested, just so I could see and hold you again. But I can't and that pains me. Please don't worry though, I'll be back to normal in a few more weeks, stay safe Georgie <3

George almost died on the spot. Sure, his excuse was questionable, maybe even suspicious, but all the words after it made George's heart melt. He felt a tear well up in his eye as he re-read the message maybe five million times. Goddammit, why am I crying?

Lost for words, George became suddenly aware that he had been staring at the message for so long, Clay probably thought he had been left on read.

George
Oh
Are you sure you're ok?
I care about you too

George wasn't sure how to react, or what to say, so he didn't text anything, just sat there staring at the phone to see if the 'Clay 🥵🥺 is typing...' thing would come up. After a few minutes, it came.

Clay 🥵🥺
I'm glad you feel that way
And yeah I'm all good, just tired ya know

George
Can I call you?

George wanted nothing more than to hear his soothing voice again and he was disappointed with Clay's answer.

Clay 🥵🥺
I am actually just about to go out
I'll be free to talk all day tomorrow though
If you have any free time of course

George
I would like that
Where are you going?

Clay 🥵🥺
My family's house
They still need my help
Sorry about that

George knew it wasn't his place to ask what was wrong but he couldn't help wondering what exactly had every ounce of Clay's time occupied. He decided to ask when he could talk on the phone to him tomorrow.

George
No need to apologise
Just please reply next time so I don't worry too much

--

The next day, Dream decided to call in sick so he could go to his home and catch up more on his sleep (his sleep schedule was messed up unbelievably at this point, but he just wanted to take any chance he got to sleep), while also talking to George. He was so excited to hear the smaller boy's voice again, especially since he had completely exposed his raw feelings for George and George seemed to feel the same way.

Dream flopped onto his bed, his eyes glueing shut immediately.

A few hours later, Dream woke to the sound of his phone ringing - or blaring - in his ear. George!

"George!"  Dream said excitedly into the phone after clicking accept. 

"Wha- hi Clay," Dream could hear the smile in his voice.

"Hey, I am so sorry for ignoring you like that. That was such a dick move and I'm so sorry."

"Clay... did you- did you just wake up? Your voice is a little slurry," George asked. "And yes I do accept your apology."

"Oh good," Dream breathed, smiling. "Yeah, I haven't been sleeping much lately. I had to take the day off work to recharge the old noggin." Dream clamped a hand over his mouth knowing that sounded really bad.

"Clay, you need to tell me specifically what is wrong. You should be needing a sick day to sleep," the worry seeped through George's words. Dream knew he would have to open up a little bit to George or he wouldn't let this go.

"Uhh, George, I dont really know how to say this, so I just will. I'm an orphan," Dream said casually. This seemed to take George by surprise because there was a silence from the other end.

"Oh my god, Clay, I-I'm so sorry for your loss," George managed.

"No, no. I never knew my parents. That happened a long time ago. I am telling you this so you know I grew up in an orphanage."

"Oh, are you...? What was that like?" George seemed a little confused. Dream decided not to answer the question to avoid memories he could feel creeping back.

"Anyway, they need extra help with taking care of the children, so I've been doing that," Dream explained.  He wasn't lying - he was helping take care of the children... technically.

"Oh, ok. But why has that made you so sleep-deprived and not able to even look at your phone?" George asked, bewildered. Shit. What could he say?

"I- um," Dream wracked his brain. You would think a trained hitman would have all sorts of excuses ready to go, apparently not. "I- I've been having some nightmares that have kept my mind more than a little busy," he stammered with a nervous laugh. Also not a complete lie; he had been having nightmares.They had likely been brought on by spending so much time at that place... ones that made him relive certain events he wished he didn't have to. He just hadn't slept long enough to have one in the past few days. I feel bad.

"Oh, they must be really bad dreams, Clay," George replied earnestly. "Do you mind if I ask what about, see if I can... help?"

"Um- I would, but honestly I'd rather do that in person. It's kind of a big deal," Dream found himself talking so freely to George. He just felt like for once he could be himslef. Sure, George didn't know he was essentially a mass murderer, but at this point, he didn't need to know.

"Oh, I can come over as soon as work finishes?" George offered. Dream started shaking his head but realised George couldn't see.

"I have to go to the orphanage at five so I don't think-"

"Nonsense, classes end at three so I'm sure I could try and leave at four? This is obviously important, Clay," George was so kind that Dream might've melted right there. "What kind of friend would I be to just leave you alone?" Ouch, friend-zoned.

"Seriously, you don't ne-"

"No, no, I'll be there around four, ten, yeah?" Dream was taken aback by his forwardsness and George clearly took the silence he gave as a yes. "Ok, see you later, Clay."

Dream hung up without a goodbye, and just found himsellf passing out again, both dreading and looking forward to George getting there.

(1348 words. This chapter is kinda meh ngl. There are definitely better ones to come)