after harry went back to his posh-ass english mansion, sammy was back on twitch streaming phasmophobia with the girl squad. they were walking painfully slowly through a haunted house trying to identify what type of ghost is haunting the house and to gather evidence without dying.
"i'm pretty sure i know what this is, guys" sammy said
"what is it? tell me, im scared, i wanna get outta here" groaned kovia
"i'm pretty sure.... it's.... a ghost." sammy said, lauhing.
"i hate you" kovia joked
"i love you too ❤️" sammy giggled
"oh yeah? why don't you marry me then?"
"oh my gosh, i can mawwy youw? uwuwu?"
"yeah," kovia said, crouching in-game in front of sammy, "salmonella leia l'chapstick, wiw youw mawwy me?"
"oh mg yosh" uwued samy.
harry syles watched on, seething with jealousy, as the rest of the conversation turned to white noise in his head. he could not stand his queen flirting with someone else. the thought of her marrying anyone but him made him want to scream and cry.
nintelda laughed along as kovia and sammy play-flirted. "can i be the head bridesmaid" she said. "i'll bring sushi"
"heck yeah" said sammy
"yusss" nin said, fistpumping, "this is gonna be the best wedding ever"
a new message popped up in the chat.
L14mSm3lls0fG4rb4g3_69420: my queen how could you?! they don't know about us? i thought you & i meant more than this.
🗡️TheAlchemistKitten: what? @ L14mSm3lls0fG4rb4g3_69420
L14mSm3lls0fG4rb4g3_69420: my summer love, lysa, is in call with a beautiful woman who i can't compete with, and she's not afraid to steal my girl :'( we didn't even get a last first kiss :'(
🗡️TheAlchemistKitten: who are you?
L14mSm3lls0fG4rb4g3_69420: i'm harry styles m8, do you wanna fooking go innit blud?
🗡️TheAlchemistKitten: suuuure you are. don't start drama in the chat, please.
L14mSm3lls0fG4rb4g3_69420: will someone please rock me bc my heart is broken and im crying blood and my mascara is running like you ran away from me. where do broken hearts go? mine went down one of those kitchen sinks with the garbage disposal blades.
🗡️TheAlchemistKitten: @ lysa1201 do you know this person?
however, at that moment, TheAlchemistKitten (Anneliese)'s message got flooded out by several hundred messages. sammy looked at chat and gasped from joy at the spike in viewers. "JAKEY RAID!!!!" they all said.
"NAKEYJAKEY RAID?! THANK YOU SO MUCH JAKEY AND EVERYONE!!!!!" sammy squeaked happily, filling the new viewers in on what she and the girls were doing in the game.
as the hype in chat settled down into a more conversational tone, sammy could see jakey send a message. "no problem! anything for my beautiful wife 😘"
unfortunately for harry, he saw this too.
"you have a hUSBAND?! why didn't you TELL ME THIS?!" typed harry. "why'd you have to tell me a lie? what other lies have you told me? little white lies? big ones?"
"i didn't lie" said sammy, "i never answered you when you asked me if i was taken"
harrys face was coated in jealous tears. "fucking hell ur right"
"yeah" typed nakeyjakey "sammy and i are in a loving, trustworthy 3 way marriage with @ AshtonIrwin"
kovia read this message aloud. "what about me???" she complained at sammy.
"ma'am, i'm straight" sammy said
"aww :(" replied kovia bisexually
AshtonIrwin: wazzaaaaaap!
"hey ashton!" sammy cooed at her husband, who had been summoned in chat by her other husband
AshtonIrwin: im stoked for you to move to australia with me tomorrow arvo, love!
L14mSm3lls0fG4rb4g3_69420: wtf lysa youre moving to AUSTRLALIA?????!!!!!!
"yea i am, do you have a problem with that, harry?"
L14mSm3lls0fG4rb4g3_69420: yes i do!! australia is crime land where i send my disobedient slaves!!!!!!! do you not even love me?! change your ticket!!!!"
"i do love you harry, but ive wanted to move to australia for the last 7 years. you can't stop me."
harry then donated $20000 with a message saying "what if i paid for you to move to england with me? the constant rain and knife crime isn't that bad i swear"
"HOLY FRICKING SHIT WHAT HUH WHY WHAT ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW $20000??!!?!!??!?" sammy screamed, but then she noticed the message and her face fell. "i'm.... sorry, harry.... i'm gonna refund that.... i can't accept so much money if it comes with an expectation that i change my plans and i don't follow my dreams. i hope you can understand"
harry typed in chat, "oh.... ok."
"also i'm breaking up with you because you spell okay like that" sammy said
"you broke my fucking heart lysa. i hope you don't forget where you belong. 😡"
sammy looked anxious, worrying about what he meant. was he gonna say "the streets"?
🗡️TheAlchemistKitten: im this close to banning him. just give me the word and he's gone, girl.
L14mSm3lls0fG4rb4g3_69420: u belong on a throne, my queen. i will never forget you. love you, goodbye.
sammy looked wistfully at the chat and said "i won't forget you either, dude."
NakeyJakey: you didn't have to break up with him if you didn't want to, i would've been fine if he joined us
AshtonIrwin: yeah same ayyy
"nah he was kinda dwamatic" sammy said in the voice that idk how to describe
NakeyJakey: aight then lol
"aaaanyway" said kovia, "while you were talking to your mans, nin got eaten by the ghost"
"god damn it" sammy said
the next day, sammy flew at australia to live with ashton irwin and nakeyjakey in their mansion that was bigger than harry styles's mansion but also less pretentiously decorated so that's pog as frick innit
harry wrote a dramatic and emo song about how much he loved sammy that peaked at #1 on the billboard hot 100 for like a month because anything that involves spammy cheese whiz instantly becomes 239084% hotter. but then harry got over it and so did sammy, character develpmemt pog
and then samy got a record deal with whoever publishes 5sos's muic and she sang some really pog sounding songs that she wrote and her voic is so beauiftul that 3 of those songs became #1 on the billbobaggins hot 100 for a whole ass year each but nobody ever got sick of them becauae her voice is so good
everyone in this story lived happily ever after except for bradley lol
YOU ARE READING
the girl of my dreams (sammy czewski x harry styles) (CRACK FIC)
Fanfictionidk where im going with this but its gonna be loopy
