Bonded To The Enticer

Chapter 1- Graduation Day

Dear journal,

It's been 6 years already that I've been sharing my life's journey with you. You've been my companion for so long and the best part is that you don't even get bored of me and my issues.I still remember the day when Mom handed me my first journal and told me to write down everything I had inside of me that I couldn't share with anybody.

Mom and I had always shared this passion for books and litterature. I guess this is called the mother daughter's bond. There is not a single day when I don't regret her absence.I missed her so much and it was painful to not feel those arms wrapped around me, those hands that braided my hair skilfully and that melodious voice that allowed me to go into my dreamy sleep. I missed her..... I would give up everything just to find her back in my life again.I just wished she was here today to watch me being graduated. It was her dream to see me on that stage during the graduation ceremony...

"Amara, honey we're getting late. I'm sure you don't wanna miss such a big day! " Dad shouted from the kitchen.

" Coming Dad, " I replied as I rushed down the stairs.

As per my supposition, he was right there in the kitchen.Dad was almost frightened by my sudden intrusion.It could easily be noticed since he was starring at me as if he saw ghost in front of him.

"Oh dear! You scared me," he said, still under the shock.

He was wearing one of his plain black shirt and dark grey pants. He usually wore them on special occasions only since Mom had gifted him these for his forty fifth birthday.He couldn't put anything that mom gave him away and I didn't blame him for that. Both of us had spent really painful and lonely years.Dad couldn't recover from the loss nor could I but we were still present for each other physically and emotionally.He used to say that love comes only once in a lifetime.He couldn't think of having someone else replacing mom in his life.

And I couldn't stop blaming myself for his state... Maybe he didn't want to settle down again because of me.Maybe I was the one who reminded him of his past.Maybe he was unable to love again because he thought he would be unfaithful to mom or unfair to me. Sometimes I failed understanding his mind's state. He was never good at expressing himself through words but his eyes spoke for him. The pain hidden in those grey eyes, I could feel it. No matter how hard he tried to pretend to be happy, I knew from the bottom of my heart that he wasn't. He was lost somewhere in the past and that bitter feeling of helplessness made feel weaker and weaker.

I saw him gazing at me. I couldn't stop my tears. My eyes were surely red and filled with tears that i was trying to hold back.His lips were slightly parted. He walked towards me and wiped my tears. His fingers brushed against my soft and wet skin.I couldn't stop myself from hugging him hard. He cautiously wrapped his arms around me, filling me with his warmth. His scent of caffeine from his morning coffee was overwhelming.

"Hey, why are you crying? You know today is a very special day for you, right?You are finally a big girl now just like mom wanted you to be," he whispered softly.

"I know. It's just that I'm missing her.... so much. I just wish she was here, " the words came out themselves.My tears fell unwillingly.

"I know honey...I miss her too. She'd be so proud of you.You finally accomplished her dreams," he said while releasing me.

He cupped my face and once again he wiped my tears from my pink cheeks and held my gaze.

"Thanks dad, " I managed to say.

" For what honey? "

" For being here for me.Always."

"I'll never leave you... Never. You get that."