Coffee Addiction

here with me

Emily's POV
When JJ ran out I cried. Penelope came over to me and hugged me tight. "Go get your girl. We'll be here." She said.

Everyone else nodded so I ran for the stairs. She has made it on the elevator so I met it on the next floor down.

"Get away." She said as soon as we locked eyes. I stepped in and closed the doors. "Please talk to me JJ. I never wanted to leave you." I begged.

"You don't get to call me that. You left me. You left me alone. After you promised to stay. You said you wouldn't leave me." By now she was crying.

"It wasn't my choice. I wanted to come and see you. I needed it. But I wasn't allowed. If I did Doyle would have found me and hurt one of you."

"Emily, I went through hell. The amount of times I wanted to throw myself off of my balcony was unimaginable. You hurt me." The door opened and she ran out.

I ran after her and tried to turn her towards me. "I love you more than anything. I will never stop loving you. Please. Give me a chance. I want to prove myself to you." I begged.

"I don't know how to trust you." She got in her car and started it. I backed away and went back to my team.

"So you're back. The coffin we buried was empty and you were in Berlin." Reid was saying.

I tried to explain myself, I think it worked. But Elle was mad at me. I can see in her face. Derek and Spencer too. Penelope seemed exhausted. It pained me to see her like that.

"Yeah. I was in the hospital for a couple weeks before I was sent off." I told them of what I did. How I spent my time.

"I wanted to come home. I wanted to get on a plane and be here. When I thought of the pain I put you through it broke me. I never felt worse than I did in Berlin. Please believe me." I begged.

The room was silent. Nobody looked at me. Hell. Elle didn't even look at me. "I don't know how to believe you." Morgan said.

He walked out followed by Elle, Rossi and Reid. "Penelope. Please don't leave me." I asked the only friend I had in the room.

"Darling I would never." She pulled me into a hug and I broke down. "I'm so sorry." I repeated in her ear.

"You are alive and here with me. I could never be mad at you." I hugged her as tight as I could.  I have someone in my corner.

"Give them time. They need you. They missed you. And she loves you." She whispered. I followed her to her office. The stares were hell.

"I'm going to get you some coffee and we can talk. It'll all be okay." She said before leaving me alone.

Her bat cave was different. It was sad and dark, not happy and uplifting. The only pictures were of the team, me and JJ from that dinner. There were no stuffed animals or figures.

"Did I do all of this?" I asked when she got back. She set the mugs down and sat next to me.

"It just didn't feel right to be happy when you were gone. But please don't be sad. I couldn't be more happy you are here."

JJ's POV
I got in the car and drove off. I didn't want to see her, or think about her.

I pulled into a parking lot to cry. I wished she had been alive everyday, but now that she is I hate her.

I hate that she left my. I hate that she didn't try to come back. I hate that I still love her. I hate that I want to hug her and be near her.

I sped to my apartment and slammed the door behind me. "What the hell was that?" Will said running out from the bedroom.

"I um. Found some stuff out. I just got mad." I didn't want to be honest. Not yet.

"Ok. I thought something bad was happening. Want breakfast?" He asked. I chuckled and shook my head.

"I'm kinda tired. I'm gonna go lay down." I went back to the room and changed into shorts.

I woke up to someone knocking on my door. Will had gone to work so I was alone.

I opened the door and shut it quickly. "JJ please. Let me in. Talk to me. Please." She begged.

"Get away. Go anywhere else. I don't want to be near you. I don't want you here." I yelled through the door.

"Jennifer please. What can I do?"

"You can get back the two years of grief I went through." I went back to the couch and laid down.

"JJ I am not leaving. I thought about you every day for the past two years. The thought of leaving you caused me to stop breathing. When I had anxiety attacks I thought of you. You kept me alive JJ. Please just look at me."

I got up and opened the door. She had bright pink eyes and her hair was not good.

"I am so sorry." She repeated. "Well I'm looking at you." I whispered. "Please don't go. I love you."

"I don't know if I love you anymore." I said before closing the door in her face again.