13 Reasons Why- Hogwarts Edition

Harry's letter to Lyla

TW: suicide, mention of rape

Dear Lyla,

I know you are dead. Was there any point in writing a letter to you? No. I wanted to write one to you as I want to tell you why I did what I did.

Firstly, I'm sorry for not being there for when Draco raped you. I beat him up for you though. I just wish I could have been there for you and it was wrong of Dumbledore for not helping.

I can't blame him though, your suicide was mostly because of me, sirius and a couple of others. If I could have one more conversation with you, all I would say is I'm sorry.

I'm sorry for ignoring you. I'm sorry for comforting you. I'm sorry for stealing Sirius off of you. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you during bad teams. I'm just sorry for everything.

I'm writing this before Dumbledore's announcement of your death. I'm dreading the assembly. I don't know how I'm going to control my emotions.

The truth was, I was jealous of you. I was jealous of all you had. You were friends with everyone, they all loved you. You had the best father who treated you with love and respect. You had a relationship, with Ron. I didn't have any of this. I was just so jealous.

It all started when Sirius was sending you weekly letters. I remember you were reading them out loud and I was happy for you at first, but after reading them out every week, it made me realise I had no family.

I started to get annoyed how much love you were getting. From friends too. I felt like you were taking Ron away from me by you both liking eachother. You were with Hermione in the library everyday and I felt as if you were taking away my friends.

Everytime I looked at you, I saw all the things you had in life. Everything I didn't. You were also exceptionally smart which was something I admired. I couldn't look at you any, all I saw was pain.

In the summer, I didn't answer your letters you sent me. I was remembering how you had a happy time with Sirius and I was stuck at the Dursley's.

I started drifting from you until I completely ignored you. I should have talked to you about it, but I didn't and I regret it.

One day, I came to your house to get to know Sirius a little more. I saw you but didn't say anything. We walked out and left you by yourself. I finally felt like I had something you did too. I didn't realise I was taking him away from you until I read your letter.

At Christmas, I stayed at yours. You even confronted me but I couldn't answer honestly. I should have though. I wanted to tell you everything. I wanted to be best friends again. And that's my biggest regret. Now you're gone.

When I got your letter, I had never felt so much pain. I read it through and cried the whole time. I didn't know how much I effected your mental health, and I feel awful.

Lyla, I love you. I just want you back. Please come back. I'll wait for you, forever. I'm so so sorry.

-Harry