//𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬 (Lee Christmas x Reader)

twelve.

"Don't wanna talk about it, Barney."

"Sucks," Barney said, leaning against Trench's rental car. "You gotta get your shit together and keep it that way if you want your daughter back."

Trench spared him a glance and then rolled his eyes. "You knew about this?"

"Not at first," he said. "But I had an idea. And before you punch me again, I didn't fucking like it either. Told him as much."

"He's a piece of shit," Trench grumbled.

"No," Barney said, shaking his head. "Lee Christmas is a good man, but you just think nobody will ever be good enough for your daughter."

Trench looked up to the sky and let out a breath. His posture sunk and he looked suddenly smaller, older.

"If she's dead-"

"She's not dead."

"If she's dead," he said, looking at Barney, lips twitching into a frown. "I don't-"

"I know," Barney said with a sigh. "I know, Trench. But she's not dead. If you go in there thinking like that, you're gonna get yourself and everybody else killed."

Trench grunted because he knew Barney was right and hated to admit it. Barney clapped him on the shoulder because he understood.

"I love her, too," Barney said, a bit softer now. "We all love her. She's one of us. We'd go to hell and back for that kid. I would- I would give my life for her."

Trench studied his old friend.

"Remember when you met her?" Trench asked, turning to look down at his bag as he unpacked various weapons and boxes full of ammo.

"Yeah, fell asleep in my arms," Barney said, almost laughing.

"She's always been that way, and I could never stand it," Trench said, the clicking of metal and plastic mixing with his somber voice. "Too trusting. Would trust anybody. And maybe that wouldn't be a bad thing if the world wasn't so shit. If I didn't see the shittiest parts of the world everyday.

"From the second I got her, that damn blind trust. She had no reason. And maybe she was just a baby, but dammit, she trusted me. And she trusted you. We're the first people she trusted, and we let her down. I let her down. She's my kid, and I haven't been there for her like I should've been. I was angry that she was so different from me now, and so much like me when I was her age."

Barney watched Trench put his guns together mindlessly. He had met Trench so long ago, probably when he was about your age, maybe even younger. He wasn't sure- the years were blurring together, all of them filled with war and bloodshed.

"I have a lot to make amends for, a lot to make right," Trench continued, not looking up or hesitating in his work. "I parented her like a soldier because I thought it was the only way to keep her safe. A little girl in this world- in our world- that would trust somebody on a dime? Scared the shit outta me. And if we get there, and we're too late- if she's already gone..."

Barney squeezed his shoulder and Trench finally stopped, jaw tight and hands almost shaking.

"You did good," Barney said. "You raised a fucking warrior. I don't know that I could've ever done it myself. If there's anybody that will survive and come out on the other side of this, it's her. And that's your kid. You did that."

"I was ashamed," Trench added, looking up at Barney. "Her mother was nobody special to me, but she was an amazing woman. I think I could've loved her."

"What happened?" Barney asked, and he realized he had never really thought about who your mother might have been. Had he known her? Seen her in passing? He heard a sniff and wondered, surprised, if Trench was crying.