lost

1

Ginny

I cried. I was so scared. We had some money so we spend the night at a hotel. The next day I would search for info about the blood eyes. I wanted answers. I was going to figure everything out. Everything about my mom. Everything about my family.
We went to the store to get some food, but we both nearly ate. I felt more lost then ever, but I knew one thing: We could not go back!

I think that night, that night at the hotel, was the worst night of my life. I heard Austin cry. I cried too. I went to the showers. it was poorly maintained. The blue paint started peeling off the wall and it showed the grey stones underneath. There only was cold water.

I felt nothing. It was like swimming under water. You feel light. It's like everything goes in slow motion. You can't see anything.
It has been too long now. All the air has slipped out of your body. You want to get up, but something is holding you down.

Your drowning. I was drowning.

I slowly went to mirror. I looked at myself and saw a scared and broken woman. I was alone so I sat down at the floor. I had to come up with a plan, but my mind was empty. I wanted to feel something so I took my lighter and took off my pants. I felt the warmth. It hurt  comfortably. I thought of Marcus and how much I missed him. I wanted to be with him, because I loved him. It was all Georgia's fault. My mom. Oh I hated her so much! I knew she was trying to protect me when she killed Kenny. She saw him touching me. She probably thought about how her stepfather touched her. that's the reason why I didn't said anything to the P.I., but I couldn't stay. With all the lies and secrets. I know she probably did everything with the thought that she was protecting us, but she wasn't protecting us. She was scaring us. I took the fire from my skin and saw the mark. It was red and thicker than the rest. I did the lighter on again and burned another spot on my legs. when I put my pants back on I had five new burn marks.

I thought about Georgia: she should be walking home now. She's probably angry because we didn't come to the election. I heard her voice in my head, "I know you don't like that I slept with Dad and you think he left because of me, but I'm your mom! I am finally happy! And that's because of Paul!" I laughed silently.

I didn't leave a note, but she would understand. She would see the burnt plant and the missing money and jacket. I thought about what she would do: Would she go to the police? Or would she be selfish and just walk away.
She hates the police and now I know why. If she goes to the police, there will be an investigation: 'Were there any problems at home? What could have been a reason for them to run?' She wouldn't want that.

I tried to think about what to do tomorrow, but I just had no idea. I mean, I knew I wanted to know more about the blood eyes and moms past. I just had no idea how to figure that out. It wouldn't take to long for Georgia to figure out what I wanted to do. Maybe she already knew. I have to try to do the opposite of what she expects me to do. I hoped she didn't know yet so I would have had a little more time to figure out what to do and where to go.

I searched for the blood eyes, Alabama. It was hard to find anything. I wasn't even sure if it still exists, but then I saw an article where they mentioned it. "Alabama is versatile. You have motorcycle gangs who gather in bars as 'blood eyes', but you also have..."

So I searched on blood eyes, bar, Alabama. After a long search I found an address.

156 N College St, Auburn, Alabama

I came back and Austin was sitting in bed, playing with his glasses.

'Tomorrow we're going to visit some old friends of Mom, but you can't tell them we know Mom! I said 'We won't come back, you know that right?'

'Yes, I know.'

I took a deep breath and hugged Austin. I plugged my phone in the charger I brought with me. I saw almost 1000 messages, from my mom, Marcus, Ellen, my dad, even Abby, Norah and Max. I was curious what their texts would say, but they would see that i opened them. suddenly I got this urge to text them back. I wouldn't tell them where I went to and what happened, but I could tell them I was okay, right? I opened the messages from Abby before I could change my mind. She was very concerned and she said sorry for almost a 100 times. Suddenly I saw Abby typing.

'Omg, Ginny. Is that you?' Shit. now she knew.I regretted opening the texts. I felt a huge lump in my throat. I couldn't help but to cry. I missed them, obviously, but knowing they missed me to was harder then I thought it would be. I typed 'Yes' and send it. She called me and before I knew it I picked up.

'Hey' She said quietly

'Hey' I said crying.

'Where are you? Why did you leave? Are you okay?' she rattled.

'I..... I'm okay.'

'You don't sound okay. where are you?'

'I just miss all of you, but I'll be fine.'

'Please tell us where you are and why you left.'

'I can't.'

'Please.' she said super quiet.

'I...I can't risk my mom to find out. I have to do something first.'

'Okay... Just promise me you won't do anything stupid and if your in danger you have to call us!'

'I''ll text you every day that I'm okay.'

'Okay. I miss you!'

'I miss you to.' It was hard to hear her voice, but somehow it also gave strength. 'Abby?'

'Yeah?

'Please don't tell this to anybody.'

'I...I won't' she said half crying.

I hang up.

I tried to sleep a little, but it was hard.

//

chapter 2 is coming! It will be Georgia's perspective and I just have to check it for spelling mistakes. It's my first time writing in English so I'm really excited about what you guys think!