What She Didnt Know

Chapter 5: Besties

I invited Sarah over today.

She's coming to meet Soph. This week went by pretty fast. Collin is still in my Psychology class, he hasn't spoken to me though. He hasn't even looked at me. If we can go the rest of the semester this way, I just might make it.

I saw his ex girlfriend in the girls bathroom on Thursday. It was pretty awkward. Sarah heard from a couple of her classmates that her name is Lindsey. Apparently they're not getting back together. Collin deserves better than her, anyways.

I walk into Sophia's room, she's laying on her stomach with her knees tucked under her body. I admire my sleeping baby for a moment before I enter her room. She's so full of innocence and purity. She looks just like me when I was a baby. She hasn't changed much since we moved here. Her hair has gotten a couple inches longer but that's about it. I walk over and sit on the edge of her bed. I gently rub her back. "Sophia. Time to get up baby." I kiss her forehead. She opens her eyes and smiles when she notices me. "Morning Mama." I rub her blond curls out of her face. "One of my friends is coming over today Soph. She wants to meet you. She goes to my school." Her eyes light up and she throws the covers off her. "You have a friend?!" She jumps with excitement and grabs my hand, dragging me out of her room.

We walk downstairs and see my mom sitting on the couch. "Good morning, girls" she says as we walk down into the living room. "Good morning, mama" I respond. Soph runs up to her and jumps on the couch next to her. "NANA!" She yells with excitement. "Mama has a friend!" I laugh and walk into the kitchen to get a glass of milk. I grab Sophia a pop tart out of the cabinet and set it on the table. I walk into the living room and scoop her up. "Come on Soph, time for breakfast." She wraps her arms around my neck and I carry her into the kitchen. I set her down in a chair at the table and take a seat next to her. "Who's your friend mama?" She asks. "Her name is Sarah. She's really nice and she's really excited to meet you" I say as I tap her on her nose. We finish breakfast and I straightened up a little. The house is usually clean since my moms here all day. She's an author so she has her on and off periods. Sometimes she would get so wrapped up in a book I wouldn't hear from her for a couple weeks. She's been taking time off with me and Sophia here, though.

I hear a knock at the door and Sophia runs and opens it. "Hi!!!" She yells with excitement. "I'm Sophia!!"

"Hi Sophia. I'm Sarah. I've heard so much about you."

I walk into the living room and see Sophia dragging Sarah through the door by her hand. Sarah smiles at me as Soph drags her to the couch. "I read a book?" Sophia asks. Sarah smiles at her "I would love it if you read a book." Sophia grabs her favorite book, Brown Bear, and starts reading it word for word flipping through the pages. Sarah looks at me with wide eyes the entire time she reads. When she's done Sarah's jaw drops "How does she know how to read?!" Me and my mom start laughing. I'm the first to answer "she has it memorized. I've been reading it to her since she was a baby." Sarah shakes her head. "She didn't miss a beat." She confirms.

Mom ended up making spaghetti for dinner. Sophia was a mess, so I gave her a bath while mom talked to Sarah. She seems to really like her. I lay Sophia down for bed and join my mom and Sarah in the living room. I bring my knees up to my chest and listen to them talk about books. Sarah loves reading and with mom being an author they're two peas in a pod.  It takes them about 30 minutes to wrap up their conversation about how my mom comes up with her books.

Sarah decides to stay the night. We lay down in my bed around 9:30pm. Sarah starts scrolling through her Facebook. We make pick fun at a lot of girls Sarah went to school with.

I laid Sophia down for bed about 30 minutes ago. "Facebook is so lame these days. Everyone's so fake. You only see the good parts of someone's life" She complains. "Do you even have one?" I confirm I do but I don't really get on it. Nothing interesting to post. She tells me to add her so I grab my phone off the end table and open my Facebook app. I accept Sarah's friend request but a message catches my eye. I open it and I'm pretty sure my face turns pale when I see who it's from.

Tyler - Hey Kris, I know it's been awhile since I've tried reaching out to you, but I really miss you and Soph. My life is not the same without you. Please come home, or at least think about working things out with me. Talk to me about this. We need to do what's best for Sophia. She needs her dad. I'm so sorry for everything I've done to make you feel like you needed to run back home. My moms been asking about you both. I love you, Kristen. Please come home.

It takes me a second to absorb his words. He's full of shit. But that doesn't stop the emotions from pouring out of me. I try so hard to hold it back in front of Sarah but it's all too much. I throw my phone on the bed. I bring my knees up to my chest and I bury my head into them. My whole body starts to shake as the tears pour down my face. Sarah wraps her arms around me and doesn't say a word while I release every emotion I've felt the passed few months.

When I'm finished I lift my head and wipe my eyes. I look at Sarah and she gives me half of a smile. "You don't have to explain yourself. But Im here for you if you decide you need to talk" She confirms. I'm kind of glad she was here. I decide in this moment that I can trust her. I just introduced her to Sophia. I pour my heart out to her. Every important detail from the last 3 years of my life. I tell her how Tyler was my first love, so Ive never known anyone else. I tell her how I was so excited when I got pregnant with Sophia. I tell her all the good parts, when we would be adventurous and how happy we were in that moment. I tell her all the ugly parts. How I would walk on eggshells around my house just to avoid pissing him off. I tell her how when he hit me for the first time he cried and told me how sorry he was. How he ran my bath and washed my body while I cried, like he could somehow scrub off the bruises. I tell her how the day I left was the worst of all his abuse. Before I knew it we're both sobbing and wiping our eyes. When I'm finished she hugs me. "It all makes sense now." I hear her say. I look at her for a moment not understanding. She must read my expression because she adds "I get it. Why you're so withdrawn. Why you push people away. Why you're so focused on getting on your feet. I get it, now. You're a strong ass woman, Kristen."

I smile at her. We lay down and turn out the light. I go to sleep thinking about my best friend. This girl that God sent me to help me through all this confusion. Happy I can finally confide in a another human.

My alarm clock went off around 8am and we both got up for school. I let Sarah borrow a pair of black leggings and a plain pink tshirt. I throw on a pair of black leggings, myself. I also grab a white tank top and throw on a hoodie. I grab us both a bottle of water and we head out the front door and jump in my car.

We show up to school in time for breakfast. I can smell sausage and syrup coming down the hallway. We proceed to the line and grab a tray of sausage sticks and hash browns before sitting at our regular table. "Sophia is so cute" Sarah says as she takes her first bite. I smile at her and I respond "she seems to really like you. And I'm sorry about last night. Just a lot of bottled up emotions, ya know?" She puts her hand down and looks at me with a blank stare. It makes me a little uncomfortable so I look down and play with the food on my plate. "I'm here for you, Kristen. Have you not had anyone there for you before?" Her question surprises me. I mean, I have had people there for me. My mom, my grandma before she passed away. Sophias always there for me. I haven't had many people to open up to, like I did with Sarah. But I have had people there for me. I guess my silence answers her question because she opens her mouth again to speak. "You really haven't... Im so sorry." She looks at me and grins "I'll be honored to be your first real friend." I return her smile and we finish eating breakfast.

Sarah stops by the library on the way to class so walk to first period alone. I stop by my locker and get my books. When I turn around my heart drops. Collin is across the hallway surrounded by three girls. One is swaying back and forth curling her hair, I'm pretty sure she's in my English class. The second is smiling up at him and playing with her hands. The third is just standing there watching the other two gawk over him. I like her the most. It kinda pisses me off. I slam my locker and storm off to first period. I don't know why it pisses me off that other girls want him. I mean, I can see why. I've never been one to get jealous. Even when I suspected Tyler was cheating on me, I've never really been jealous. But for some reason seeing them all over him made me very territorial over a man that isn't even mine.

First period went by quick. Collin wasn't in Psychology today. That was probably a good thing. Sarah could tell something was off but I just told her I'd explain later. I need her to help me figure out how to control my feelings and emotions, anyways. I walk out to my car and stop in my tracks when I see Collin leaning up against my car.

What.
The.
Hell.